Licorice Ice-cream
by Millie Bates
Summary: Tino Vainamoinen is fresh out of college working his dream job as a teacher at a private school when he meets Berwald Oxenstierna, a man who's worked for the school for years and has never met anyone like the new teacher. Romance ensues between an unlikely pair as they face trials and tribulations.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: "Fresh Outa College"**

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This was what the past years had been leading up to. Tino Vainamoinen was finally living his dream of being a teacher. He'd wanted this since seventh grade. There had been a few bumps in the road, times when he thought he wanted to do something else, but it always came back to this. He worked hard for his degree and now here he was, hired fresh out of college.

He knew he'd been lucky in finding a job, too. He couldn't mess this up. He nervously fidgeted with an apple shaped paperweight on his desk. He didn't expect to be teaching fifth grade, that was for sure. He actually wanted to teach younger children. Not that he was complaining. Any teaching job was good. Also, this was still elementary. He looked up at the clock. It was still thirty minutes till school started.

He tapped his fingers on the top of the wooden desk impatiently, then finally turned to the little refridgerator he kept under his desk and opened it, pulling out a pint of ice-cream. He figured he'd have to eat it early anyways because it was icecream and he was keeping it in a fridge. He took out a plastic spoon, popped the lid off, and shoveled a few spoonfuls into his mouth. It was licorice flavored, which was just about his favorite.

I mean, all icecream was good, but this was different. It wasn't necessarily the taste, either. He had always had it growing up and it really comforted him when he ate it. He turned to his computer and clicked at the keys, turning some music on. Yeah, this was pretty nice.

"Ah, hello? Tino Vainamoinen?"

Tino looked up at the door. There was an older man with brown hair standing in the doorway. He had a green tie and a big smile. Besides that, he had a weird accent. "My name is Mr. Vargas around here, but my friends call me Roma." He came in and extended a hand, which Tino gladly took. "Tino Va- oh, sorry! You clearly already know that," he said with a small laugh. This man looked really nice. He must have been in his fifties, though.

"Yes, I saw we had someone new! I wanted to introduce myself, be polite. I teach gym class," he said, letting go of his hand. "My two babies go here, though, too. Grandbabies." He took out a photo. "I hate to be such a mama, I really do, but look how precious?" Tino happily took the photo and smiled down at it. "Aw! They're very cute. Twins?"

Roma laughed at that. "Ah, no. That one there is actually two years older, he's just more on the small side. Which is fine. No rush to have them grow up, you know?" Tino nodded and gave the picture back. He loved children so much. Nothing put a smile on his face like them. They were the past, the present, and the future, and if that wasn't true, nothing was.

"It's really nice meeting someone who's, well, nice!" He said cheerfully. He hadn't really met anyone besides the principal, who wasn't mean or nice. Just stern, old, and a bit grumpy during meetings. He was glad not all of the faculty had to be like that.

Roma nodded and started back for the door. "No, I promise we aren't all Mr. Winters," he said, referring to the principal. Tino tried not to laugh at the crack at his boss. I mean, he could roll around any minute. "So nice meeting you, Roma," he said, waving as the man smiled and left for the gym.

He was so much more relaxed knowing he wasn't alone here. He put the ice-cream away while watching the door eagerly again. Finally, a student came in and looked around. "You're name is on the desk where you'll be sitting!" The boy turned, nodded, and sat down in his seat awkwardly. He forgot how awkward older children could be. Luckily, more children started coming in after that. Some of their mothers came and took pictures of them, much to their dismay.

They kept piling in, and he had to write the instructions for finding a seat on the board because for some reason they weren't understand that they were supposed to sit where their name was. I mean, they should have gotten it, but maybe this bunch was a little rotten. Not all students were the same, anyway.

It was almost time for school to start. He waited for the bell to ring and looked out at the class. It was a surprisingly full class. All boys, too, because he taught on the boys side of the building. Right before the bell rang, a student came in and he helped him to his seat so he could start class faster. He stared out at all of them again. His heart actually raced in a really good way. He was a little scared, but also a lot excited.

He spent the morning making them play games to get to know each other. Some children groaned dramatically and he just smiled because honestly, this was as easy as it got. They were just angsty. _What a time to be alive_ , he thought. He finally had them take out their pencils so they could go over the syllabus. He knew they hated that part so he tried to make it as painless as possible.

He explained classroom procedures, safety procedures, where things were in the classroom, etc, until finally it was their lunchtime. He walked them all down in a straight line and ushered them into the cafeteria. He didn't have to stay with them. There were other teachers for that. He looked around the cafeteria and spotted the two ladies who he was sure was supposed to be watching them. His eyes scanned the room, stopping on the janitor who was standing near the wall on the other side of the room.

He kind of squinted his eyes to look at him better, which made no sense whatsoever because he was pretty sure it made it worse. Either way, he didn't look like a janitor. I mean, he looked tall. Not that janitors had a specific look or anything! But this guy... well, maybe he wasn't tall? Maybe he just looked tall from here? He had glasses, too. And was just really quite frightening.

He didn't mean to stare. He knew it was awkward. But he wasn't looking up anyways, and if nobody was around to hear the tree fall, did it really fall? He continued to stare. Weren't the children scared or something? He watched as a smaller student, most likely a second grader, walked up to him and actually hugged his leg.

This guy kind of looked like an ex-con, okay? And this baby just hugged his leg? He knew it was bad, but he just had this image of him lifting this kid in one hand and chucking him across the room. He looked like he could if he wanted to. But he just stopped mopping, looked down at the child, patted his head apathetically, and went back to mopping.

Tino blinked a few times, then slowly walked back to his classroom to eat his own lunch. He sat down at his desk and pulled out his food. He ate slowly, looking around the classroom. It was empty. I mean, obviously. He wasn't a fan of eating lunch alone but he didn't know what else to do. He was just shy enough to not want to go find Roma and eat with him. Plus, he probably ate with the other faculty. He just wasn't sure about it, is all.

So he sat in silence, slowly munching and playing with his computer. He was actually still looking for furniture for his apartment. He hoped to move into a house as soon as possible because his neighbors were so noisy. He didn't really have friends either. He'd have to make some of those, too.

He just hadn't been in Copenhagen for long enough to make any. It wasn't that he was antisocial or anything, he'd love to make friends and meet new people, he just didn't know how. He also wanted to meet men. He had sort of checked out the lgbt scene, but not much came out of it. I mean, there were a few men, but he wasn't a fan of just hooking up. It always made him feel guilty. He was gay, he'd known that since high school, but he'd had a one night stand just once and it made him feel so shitty he vowed never to do it again if he could help it.

Despite being gay, he considered himself religious. I mean, he figured he was a Christian. He believed in God and Jesus and he was teaching in a Christian school. He didn't go to church, but he didn't have one to go to. He didn't speak Danish, either, so it was futile. He'd always gotten shit about it, too. People would ask how he could be gay and religious and he just... never knew how to answer. He just had faith is all.

But the point is, because of that, he didn't find it acceptable to have so many partners. Not that he'd ever shame someone who did have a lot of partners, it just wasn't for him. It always seemed to make people mad when he said that aloud. He knew it sounded preachy, and he hated sounding that way and coming off like he thought he was better or something, because he'd never thought that.

Why was he even thinking about this now? It was such a bad time to think about stuff like that. He finished his food and threw the trash away as one of the students came into the classroom and sat down in his seat. He looked a little upset, but he also looked like he didn't want to talk about it. Tino didn't care, he was going to ask. "Is something wrong?"

The boy just shook his head. Who was that, anyways? He looked down at his seating chart. _Lukas Bondevik_. Oh yes, the one who'd come in late. He looked at him again. He was a pretty child. Not in a weird way, he didn't want that to sound weird. But he really was so pretty. Very feminine. Super aesthetically pleasing. He figured it could be a bad thing, though. Boys would probably make fun of him. Maybe even some girls. He felt for him. He knew the feeling of looking too feminine all too well.

He looked away when the other students came back in. They were obnoxiously loud, especially a group of three that trailed in last. He waited till they sat, then checked his seating chart. _Gilbert Bielschmidt. Ned Jansen. Mathias Kohler._ He really hoped it wasn't a problem that he'd sat Gilbert and Mathias together. He didn't want to have to switch the seating chart around already. But maybe they could control themselves?

There was a fart noise from the back, and he knew this wasn't going to go well. The college student still in him wanted to smile, honestly. But now he was in the big times, and he had to say, "Let's not do that." The class snickered collectively and he shot a few of the children sharp looks, at which point they stopped their snickering and looked at their papers. _That's what I thought._

He finished the day successfully and with a smile. He'd gotten through his first day as a teacher and it wasn't bad at all. He took a deep breath, packed his things, and went home.

It sounded bad, but when he got home, he was a little disappointed. The apartment was tiny and he didn't even have a couch yet, he just had a television set on the floor with a few DVD's and a player. Just a random assortment of small furniture pieces and decorations he'd gotten as gifts. It was just so bare. He didn't have a table yet, either. He had a bed, but no frame for it, so it had been on the floor in the bedroom. It looked ugly and he hated it. He was certain he was going furniture shopping with his first paycheck.

He needed to go food shopping, too. He had food, just nothing really good for him. He'd been eating take out pretty much every night, and tonight wasn't different. He got vegetables, though. He didn't think he could take anymore carbs. He didn't like to exercise very much, either. He went on one run a week and liked to take walks, but besides that, he was a little lazy, which probably wasn't good for what he was putting into his body.

 _I'm going to have to eat better,_ he thought as he pulled the ice-cream out of the freezer.

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Glares on glasses were a necessity. Having your eyes hidden was perfect for many situations. In high school, before he'd dropped out, Berwald would sleep in class by tilting his head back, getting just the right angle for the fluorescents to cause his glasses to completely glare up, blocking his shut eyes. In retrospect, he should have stayed awake and paid attention.

But the point remains that it was useful to have that glare. Like today. It was useful today when he caught that man staring at him. He wasn't surprised. It wasn't the first time. He glanced over at him, but he couldn't tell he was looking back. He looked curious and afraid. The look was familiar. He received it often, just never so intensely. Normally they turned away, but not this time.

He wondered if they taught manners in whatever college he had attended.

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	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: "Honey Bees"**

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It was a very nice day today. The weather was just right. Not too warm and not too cold. The children all insisted that the windows be open in class, and Tino was happy to comply. He opened three windows and looked outside for a second before returning to the front to continue the math lesson. They were practicing algebra today. Fun stuff.

He kept talking and pointing out things on the board, calling students up to solve the problems as he went along. They all took notes in their math booklets. Mathias was throwing paper planes, though, and Gilbert was giggling. Other students were whispering amongst themselves and he quickly turned around, slamming the marker down. "Enough. All of you need to cut it out. I don't want to have to give a call home, or worse, send you to the principals office. Do you understand me?"

Some groaned, others nodded, and a few just smiled. He turned back to the board and continued his lesson. He was getting through most of it successfully, then he heard a commotion behind him. He slammed down the marker again and turned. "Boys, I have had it," he said, crossing his arms. The boys all looked up at him with big eyes. One yelled out, "There's a bee in here!"

At first he thought they were just messing with him, but sure enough, there was a bee flyng around the windows. He pinched the bridge of his nose and dug around in his desk for some old newspaper. He rolled it up tightly, then looked towards the window. Now there were _three_ bees. He quickly went over to the window and tried to push them shut. They weren't shutting.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding," he mumbled as he pushed harder on the window. They'd been so easy to open and now he thought he was going to break his wrist trying to close them. He swatted at a bee and missed. The students were watching with huge, shit-eating grins. Some laughed. Some were genuinely concerned. "Don't kill them, Mr. Vainamoinen!" One yelled.

"END THEIR LIVES!" Yelled Gilbert, and soon, even Tino was laughing at the whole situation. He kept hitting the window with the newspaper and he'd managed to hit one, but the rest buzzed noisily around and it had already taken five minutes to just kill that one. He took a deep breath and tried to hit another. Miss. Again. Almost, but still miss. He sighed and wiped a bead of sweat off of his forehead. "COME ON, MR VAINAMOINEN! SHOW THAT BEE WHO'S BOSS!" Gilbert was suddenly his number one fan and Tino was trying not to laugh but wow, this was terrible. He bent down at another sat attempt to shut the window, then gave up and sighed.

"Alright, quiet down!" He yelled. "I need to focus on this!"

There was silence as he pulled his hand back slowly, squinting as he aimed for both bees at once. Behind him Mathias was whispering, "Oh, he's focused boys. His arm flings back. Oh, that's the look of concentration. Would you look at that, boys? I tell you, if he doesn't get this, he'll be letting his fans down. The crowd waits patiently for the next move." Gilbert and Ned were laughing at him and Tino glanced at them with a smirk. "Take the shot, Mr. Vainamoinen."

"Five bucks says he misses."

"Five bucks says he hits just one."

"Five bucks says he hits both, then yells at all of us again."

Just as he was about to swing the newspaper again, he felt a hand on his wrist and the paper taken from his hand. He turned around quickly and came face to face with none other than the janitor he'd been watching the other day. He instinctively backed up into the window. "Oh! Uh... " He didn't know what to say. The man just stared at him for a second before slamming the paper into the window, killing both bugs at once and tossing them outside. He quickly shut the windows, locking them.

Tino was absolutely speechless. He just stared at the man, who was actually taller than he thought. He smiled nervously and finally said, "Um, thank you so much!"

The man didn't reply. He looked at him blankly, then left as silently as he'd come in. Mathias was still muttering under his breath. "The valiant knight slays the bees, takes no prisoners, and shows no mercy." The whole class was giggling again, but Tino was still staring at the doorway with big eyes. He didn't understand how he'd known to come in here. He shook it off and stood up at the board again.

"Alright, uh... let's continue the lesson, boys!"

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Berwald was just sitting in his office checking inventory and things like that when he heard Mr. Winters come in. He looked up, figuring he was going to have to deal with puke, which was probably the worst thing he ever dealt with. But to his surprise, he said, "Mr. Vainamoinen in room 21 needs your help with something. I walked by and he's having difficulties." The principal left with no other words. Berwald just stood and made his way to the classroom.

He had no clue who Mr. Vainamoinen was. He must have been new. He walked down the hall, scanning over the numbers on the wall until he reached 21. He looked in and was surprised by what he saw.

First off, it was him. It was the man who'd been staring at him in the cafeteria on the first day. Second off, he looked like he was about to sword fight. He had a rolled up newspaper in his right hand, the left hand in the air, and feet firmly on the ground. He honest to God looked like he was fencing. Berwalds eyebrows furrowed as he stepped in silently. Nobody noticed him, which was fine by him. It seemed he'd walked into a performance.

The teacher rolled the newspaper tighter and slammed it against the window, completely missing. It was such an easy shot, too. He stepped back and the class laughed. The man was laughing, too, though he was also clearly getting frustrated. Mr. Vainamoinen grinned and glanced back the class for a second, listening to the students who were cheering him on. He had a good smile. Really nice white teeth.

"COME ON, MR. VAINAMOINEN! SHOW THAT BEE WHO'S BOSS!"

Mr. Vainamoinen bent down a little to try to shut the window again. Berwald craned his neck and watched. The window didn't even budge, but the man was adamant. His eyes moved down a little and he glanced at his ass. He didn't even think about it, though, it was just there and his eyes were drawn. He was wearing tight grey pants that fit him really, really well. He stared until the teacher started yelling for the class to quiet down.

He watched as he drew back his hand, clearly aiming to hit the bees. He'd probably miss again. The boys were making bets on if he'd hit or miss, and whoever was betting he'd miss was probably right. He decided he'd seen enough of this and walked over slowly, grasping his wrist and taking the paper from him. He didn't have to aim to hit the bugs. They were dead in one swing. He brushed them outside, then closed all of the windows.

The students were all staring at him. Even the teacher was staring, but no surprise. He was fond of staring, clearly. He was still pressed against the window, too, since he'd backed up into it the second he saw him. That was kind of terrible, but he said nothing about it. The teacher tried to say something, but he clearly didn't know what to say. _You're welcome_ , he thought to himself as he stared down at the silent man. Finally, he said, "Um, thank you so much!"

He looked down at the man and wondered why he was so afraid. It wasn't like he was going to bite him. He had come in here and helped him. And he was still afraid. What did it take? He didn't even say you're welcome to Mr. Vainamoinen when he thanked him. The teacher had blown that chance when he couldn't even think to say the obvious the first time. He turned and left without another word.

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	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: "Dough"**

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He loved his job, but Tino was beyond thrilled to be getting his first paycheck from it. Money made the world go round, afterall. I mean, that was an expression, but you were seriously at an advantage if you had money. They had to come in on a Saturday and sit through a meeting before they were allowed to get their checks, which was to be expected. Tino knew he'd have a lot of meetings to sit through when he was first hired.

He came into the classroom and sat at a desk. They didn't have a big room for conferences so it was typically done in the classroom next to Mr. Winters office. He looked around at all of his coworkers. Roma sat down next to him and he was glad to have someone to talk to until the meeting actually started. "Hey, Roma! How are you?"

He smiled and said, "Fantastic! You?" Tino smiled back, then said, "Good, good! Uh, I actually have a question." He had been meaning to ask someone about the janitor. He didn't even know his name but he had clearly been there for more than one year, so someone else must have known him by now. "I was actually wondering if you knew the name of that janitor with the glasses? The tall one?"

Roma nodded and smiled. "Ah, yes! Of course. That's Berwald. He's been here for five years now, I think. Nice young man but he's a bit intimidating," he said. Tino raised an eyebrow at that. Nice young man? He didn't seem all that nice when he had to interact with him the other day, and he was more than just intimidating. He was downright frightening. Roma seemed to be reading his mind because he said, "He takes some getting used to, but he is very kind. The kids seem to like him, too."

He had noticed that, too. He didn't understand it, though. But then again, children always saw people as they really were, so maybe he should trust them more. Tino heard someone sit down on his other side and turned to see Berwald. _Speak of the devil_ , he thought. He figured he had to be here to get his check, too. He wasn't dressed like he normally was, though. He looked nicer than expected. Not that he necessarily looked bad on the job, this was just really different.

Tino wasn't sure where he pulled this bravery out of, but he managed to smile and extend his hand towards Berwald. "Um, excuse me? Berwald?" The man turned a little, his eyes squinted slightly as he looked Tino up and down. "My name is Tino. I just wanted to officially introduce myself after that... uh, ordeal the other day!" He smiled cheerfully, as always, which was a bit foreign to the other man, who rarely smiled.

Berwald looked down at the hand for a second before taking it, giving him a firm handshake. "'S pleasure," he replied, dropping Tino's hand. He looked forward again, then glanced up at the clock. Five more minutes. He glanced over at the teacher again. He was still looking at him for some reason. "Um, Berwald, where are you from?"

"Sweden."

His face lit up upon hearing that. "I went to Stockholm once for vacation with my family," he said, facing forward again with that same grin. "It was really nice. I thought so, at least." Berwald shrugged. It was what it was.

"And you?" He asked, catching Tino off guard. He stuttered for a second before saying, "Huh?"

"You're from?"

Tino blushed in embarrassment and said, "Right! Sorry, it's just early and," he stopped and cleared his throat. "Anyways, I'm from Finland."

That wasn't surprising. He could have guessed Norway, but the accent was off. "Ah," he replied, not thinking it was necessary to say anything else. This man was so cheerful. It was almost too much. Almost. It was more refreshing than anything, though. He still wasn't sure how he felt about him. There were plenty of people who smiled and put up a good face and were actually just assholes. But something also told him that this wasn't the case with Tino.

Tino couldn't think of anything else to say before the meeting started. He doodled in a little notebook while the meeting was going on. He took a few notes too, but he was also scribbling a picture of a stick man in a boat trying to catch a fish. Berwald glanced over at his desk and looked at the little drawing. Tino continued to draw a shark trying to take a bite out of the boat. He pursed his lips as he drew the sharks face.

He pulled the pen away and looked at it. It was just completely fucked. The eyes were too big and the mouth was too small and the eyelashes made the eyes look like spiders and he had to cover his mouth before he laughed. Berwald looked over again and pursed his lips. He couldn't even look at it anymore. Tino was holding his head in his hands and trying to keep his laughter quiet and Berwald had to cover up his mouth to make sure he wouldn't even smile.

Tino noticed Berwald and suddenly tried to regain his composure, but it was nearly impossible. Roma looked over, too, staring at the paper, then whispered, "Doesn't even phase me with what the boys bring home. I have stuff worse than that covering my fridge." Tino grinned and started to reply, but he heard his boss clear his throat and he quickly flipped to the next page in the notebook.

The meeting was long and boring, but at the end they were paid so it was definitely worth it. Tino looked at his first check with a smile. He was pretty proud of himself. Everyone else just took theirs and started to leave, but he wanted to savor the moment. He stuffed the check into his wallet at last and left, so thrilled to be able to buy furniture and better food. Food first, though. He went to the grocery store and tried to pick things that were healthy, but the labels were all in Danish and it was definitely a challenge.

Living in Copenhagen would take some getting used to, but he had handled it so far. It was harder to be trying to live there alone, though. He was thinking about that as he was putting the food away. Everything would have been so much easier and more pleasant with a friend or a partner or just anybody, really. He figured Roma was his friend. Or at least could be. He would be a good friend to have, too. He was so nice.

And then there was Berwald, who he thought about very hesitantly. The man was still scary. Not as scary as he was before, but still scary. Roma said he was nice, though, and he trusted him so far, so why should he be wrong about Berwald? Plus, Berwald was closer to his age. He wasn't sure how old he was, exactly. No older than thirty but no younger than 22. He thought he might have been a little older.

Either way, that was closer to his age than Roma was or a lot of his coworkers. But maybe Berwald didn't even like him. I mean, that was a definite possibility. He knew he could be really offputting because of how cheerful he was. But Berwald was a potential friend, for sure. It came down to him, though, because Berwald didn't seem like the type to go out of his way to make friends.

That was fine, he'd made friends before. I mean, none like Berwald, but still. He was sure the man was just like anybody else. He probably liked the same things and was also interested in having more friends. Unless he already had enough friends. He'd been in Copenhagen for five years, he was sure of that, but that was the minimum. He could have lived here most of his life. Maybe he already had a surplus of friends and didn't need any.

He sort of doubted that, though. He couldn't have been the only one who ever thought Berwald was scary. He sort of shrugged as he reached for a bottle of wine, pouring himself a glass. He sat on the counter and sipped it thoughtfully, reminded immediately of why he didn't drink wine. The taste was awful, too cheap. He felt more like going out and drinking, but then people would see he was drinking alone and he didn't want that.

Okay, so that was it. He was going to befriend Berwald. He couldn't keep living this way.

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He liked him. There was something about him that was so likeable. He wasn't sure of it before, but he was sure now that Tino was someone different. His smiles weren't fake and he seemed like the type of man to stick to his guns. Berwald admired a man like that. He wanted to talk more to the man, but he wasn't one for talking and he was pretty sure the other man was still afraid of him.

He didn't know how to change that, either. Maybe if he took his glasses off? Or maybe if he talked more? But it was easier to say something embarrassing when you talked more, and he needed his glasses to see. He thought if he was shorter, but there was no way to get any smaller. He sighed as he took his glasses off, folded them, and set them on the table. Maybe he could smile? Just a little smile, though. Nothing too weird.

It also depended on Tino. He didn't know much about him. He liked doodling. And being happy. He also assumed he liked children because he was working as a teacher. He didn't seem like one of those bitter teachers, that was for sure.

He'd definitely have to try to find a way to talk to him again.

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	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: "After School Snack"**

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Tino waved his students off for the weekend. They were just as thrilled as he was, but he had to stay after to grade their papers. He would have taken them home, but he had to enter them in the computer this time. He had gotten up and grabbed a container of ice-cream from the freezer in the teachers lounge before he began so he could at least be doing something enjoyable while he was reading through bad spelling and blocky cursive.

He always looked at the doodles they drew on their papers while he was grading. It was really funny sometimes. He scanned over one of the papers and smiled at a drawing of a caterpillar eating a leaf. It was pretty good, actually. He graded that paper first, then started on the rest of them, stopping midway to turn some music on.

He wasn't very good at singing, but he sang along quietly anyways while he pulled out the next stack of papers, which was short essays. These were probably his least favorite because he couldn't even read some of them. He just had to assume they did good enough for a passing grade. As he was scribbling out misspelled words on one, he heard a knock on the door and looked up. "Come in!"

To his surprise, it was Berwald. Well, actually, it wasn't that surprising. He stayed after and cleaned, right?

"Hi, Berwald! How are you?"

The other man looked over at him questioningly. Was Tino being specifically friendly towards him? He didn't seem as afraid so he figured maybe he was doing something right. He glanced away and thought, _I'm not smiling, am I?_ No, he wasn't smiling. He didn't know why Tino was suddenly less afraid. "Good. You?"

"I'm great! Grading papers is a bit boring though," he said, prodding at the ice-cream in the container as he spoke. "But it's nice seeing you! I mean, you work here, so it wasn't a surprise or anything. Are you here to... clean?"

Well, yes he was there to clean. That was his job. But he also wanted to see the teacher again. He didn't say that, though. He just nodded and started cleaning up the room. He occasionally glanced over at Tino when he started singing quietly to himself or took another bite of ice-cream. He was the type to hold the spoon ice-cream side down and keep it in his mouth for long enough to get all of it off. He was a quiet eater besides when he pulled the spoon out.

He looked away when the teacher looked up at him. It was embarrassing when you were caught looking at someone like that and he tried not to look again. But he failed, of course. He glanced at him as often as he could. When he was cleaning the windows, it was easy because he could just watch him in the reflection and he didn't have to look away at all.

"Berwald, do you have a wife?"

He stopped what he was doing and pursed his lips, then repied, "No." He heard Tino laugh a little before saying, "What? Any special girl, then?" Berwald was frightening, but not so frightening that he should have been alone. He was tall, lean, and young. He was surprised when the answer was, "No," again.

Berwald was silent for a moment before saying, "You?"

Tino actually laughed out loud at that. He'd never had a girlfriend. Girls never liked him and he never liked girls, so it was a win win. "No, no," he said, a grin still plastered on his face. He would have elaborated, but he didn't want to scare him away. He'd noticed a lot of men didn't feel comfortable around gay men because they thought they were going to be hit on and he didn't want Berwald to feel that way.

Somehow, Berwald wasn't surprised when Tino said he didn't have a girl in his life. He just didn't look like the type to have one. He meant that in the best of ways, too. He just seemed too content already for anyone. Besides, he wasn't really the poster boy for what girls were looking for. He had a soft face, pink cheeks, and he was a little chubby. Besides that, he was short. Not that he couldn't have found a girl, but really, he just didn't fit the type.

There was silence between the two before Tino finally spoke up again. "Do you mind if I ask how old you are?" The other man finished the windows and stuffed the rag into his back pocket, then said, "Twenty-five." Tino grinned and said, "I would have guessed twenty-six. I was pretty close, though!"

Berwald just nodded as he took the small bag out of the trashbin and threw it out. He turned to Tino, looked him up and down, then said, "Twenty-two." Tino was confused for a second, then realized Berwald was talking about him and he nodded with a smile. "Spot on." Did he really look twenty-two still? He had seriously been trying to look older but it apparently wasn't working.

"Um, you seem really nice, Berwald!" He said awkwardly, wishing he would have phrased it differently after he said it. "Not that you didn't seem nice before!"

"You should be grading your papers," the other replied quietly. Tino pursed his lips and turned to his computer to enter in the grades sheepishly. He didn't make him mad, right? He nervously typed on his keyboard, wanting to say something else, but not wanting to upset him anymore. After a few minutes, Berwald was putting his things away and watching Tino work.

He could see Tino's reflection in the window again. He seemed to be concentrating for a second, then his face relaxed and he looked towards the window for a moment, catching Berwald watching him. His eyebrows furrowed and he turned, but the man was looking down putting a bottle of all-purpose cleaner away. He knew he hadn't imagined that, though. There was no way.

"Um, Berwald?"

"Hm?"

Tino smiled nervously. "I was wondering what you did on the weekends. You know, for fun?" For fun. Berwald almost smirked. He didn't really do anything for fun. He occasionally went to see films, but that was about it. Did working out count? He worked out on the weekends. He just shook his head a little, not knowing how to respond. "I don't come here," he said honestly. Not that he hated his job or anything, it just wasn't the most glamorous job someone could have and he didn't make much.

The answer was enough for Tino, who just sort of laughed. "I understand," he replied, but he didn't because they had different jobs. Tino paid money to work like this, while he, on the other hand, took any job he could get. But he nodded either way and said, "You?"

Tino was hoping he didn't ask that. He didn't really do anything on the weekends anymore. "Well, I used to really like going out with my friends. We did normal things. Got food, went to football games, sometimes we took roadtrips. I don't know anybody here, though, so it's really just been me going out to eat and things like that. Sometimes I sight see." He shrugged, not wanting to sound too pathetic. The last time he'd hung out with a friend was in June. It was almost October now and it was really starting to get him down.

Berwald nodded and said, "I can relate." He remembered when he had first come here and knew absolutely no one. He still didn't know many people, but he had aquaintances he could call up if he ever, for some reason, felt like he wanted to do anything with them. Tino didn't have that and he genuinely felt bad for him, especially considering how social he clearly was. Feeling braver, he said, "If it ever gets to you, call." He looked up to gage Tino's reaction.

He was absolutely eccstatic. He smiled and nodded quickly. "Yeah! Yeah, um, what's your number?" He watched Berwald pick up a marker from the board and write his number at the very top of it. Tino quickly jotted it down onto a piece of scratch paper and stuffed it into his pocket with a big smile. "Thanks! I really, really appreciate it." Berwald nodded knowingly and started to leave. "Have a good night, okay, Berwald?" The taller man stopped in the doorway for a second.

"You, too, Tino."

* * *

Berwald sighed as he stepped into the shower. He was pretty proud of himself for giving out his number. He hadn't done that in a while and it was nice seeing Tino look hopeful. He pushed his hair out of his face and wondered if he'd actually call. It sure seemed like it. He hoped he would, too. He liked Tino and was glad he wasn't so afraid anymore.

He definitely pitied him for being new to Copenhagen with no friends. That was just about the worst part when he first arrived and he almost went back home after a couple years, but he had a job here and that was reason enough to stay in the end. He was glad he did now because things were getting a bit more interesting nowadays with Tino here.

He definitely wouldn't go back home, though, regardless. That was a thought that was long gone. He wasn't a fan of Sweden, but that was mostly just his life. There were definitely worse situations out there, but his was bad enough. He lived on the bad side of town, his father was long gone, and his mother was honestly just... awful. He didn't think about that often, but he was thinking about it now and he wished he wasn't.

He wasn't like Tino. School had probably come easy to him, but for Berwald, there were some days of school that were essentially hell on Earth. From the time he started until the time he quit, it was absolute and utter shit. His mother wasn't ever home, but she wasn't bringing home money, either, so he didn't know where she ever even went. He stayed a lot of his time with his grandfather, who was a craftsman. He built furniture and Berwald always helped.

That was a highlight of home. He loved building furniture and he loved carving. He did it occasionally, but not nearly as often as he'd liked to. It brought back good memories when he did it, but the bad ones as well, so he had to be in a particularly good mood to do it. He stopped doing it as much when he had to go to high school.

High school was shitty, but on a whole different level. He wasn't the same person he had been. He couldn't be. He'd decided to put up a facade so the people who messed with him before wouldn't want to do it anymore. That was a bad time. He never smiled, he never laughed or tried to make new friends, he just put up this wall. Nobody wanted to mess with him, but on the other hand, nobody wanted to mess with him. Not even to be friendly. So in the end, he figured it would have been worth it to get shit from people and have friends to cope with than to not get shit and have no friends.

He wasn't good at the school part, though, either. He hated math with a burning passion that radiated within him even to this day. He was pretty good at geometry, though, considering it was necessary for building. But that was it. He was good at English, too. Science was shit. History was shit. Art was shit. It was all shit. Even lunch turned shitty around age sixteen. Besides that, he had a lot of personal problems. For one, he was pretty sure he was gay and didn't know who he could trust or tell. For two, he was pretty depressed.

At the end of the worst days, he'd go to his grandfathers and help him build furniture again. He was always grateful for the help, too. He was getting old, after all. Eventually it wasn't just old, it was old and sick, and he skipped class to take care of his grandfather. He knew he was going to die the whole time. There was no way he was surviving this, but he took care of him for weeks on end anyways. He missed about a month. His teachers were trying to found out where he was. The principal was talking to his mother and none knew what to do.

Finally, a few days before Christmas, his grandfather passed away, and that was just it. There was no recovering from missing that much school and even if there was, he was too lazy to do the work. He dropped out without a second thought at age seventeen. That was the shittiest time of his life. The pinnacle of self-hatred and depression. He didn't even want to stay around anymore. As soon as he could sell off his grandfathers furniture, he took a plane to Copenhagen and never looked back.

From then until he was twenty, life was hell. Actual hell. He fucked around, did things he wasn't proud of, slept around quite a bit, had an HIV scare and stopped. Overdosed and stopped. He wished he would have known then what he knew now, because he never would have done the things he did. He would have stayed in school, or if not, he would have taken up his grandfathers business. It was too late now. There was no going back, and when he dried himself off, there was still a scar in his arm from a needle, and that was his fault.

Overall, he was glad he took the job as a janitor at age twenty. It wasn't glamorous, but he got good benefits and summers free. Besides that, he was around children every single day, and who could feel like shit when they got to see children every day? He was surprised he was hired, though. It was a fucking miracle, that's what it was.

He continued to get dressed, looking at himself in the mirror. He wasn't exactly happy with what he saw, but he wasn't disappointed, either. He felt neutral, which was actually good. Things could have ended up a whole lot worse for him. There was just one problem.

What was the point? Not of living, exactly, but why was he still alive? It sounded tacky and stupid, but he should have been dead by age twenty. Yet here he was. He wasn't doing anything special with his life and he didn't understand what he was supposed to do to fix it. It just felt really empty and wasteful, but how was he supposed to change that? He shook his head and slid his glasses back on. Maybe it would take years to figure it out, maybe it would take days. Just as long as he figured it out someday.

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	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: "Build Me Up, Buttercup"**

* * *

Before they knew it, it was October. The weather was getting colder and the leaves were falling, creating a mess of anywhere with trees. Tino liked the cold. Mostly it was because he could wear sweaters and hide his "fat". There was also just something so pleasant about fall and living things settling into the Earth that was almost magical.

Tino was too busy to actually go do anything, though. He was getting his furniture in today and was thrilled. He was finally going to have an actual bed frame and a table. He ran downstairs when he got a call that the furniture was here. He signed off, looked at the big boxes, and sighed. He wasn't weak, but there was no way he could carry them up to the second floor. He looked around, wondering if he could just get one of his neighbors to help.

Doubtful, though. They were all assholes, from what he could tell. He looked at the boxes again and whined under his breath as he tried to pick one of them up. He got it off the ground, so that was good. He just couldn't keep the box in his arms.

Finally, he pulled out his phone and dialed Berwalds number. He was surprised when he answered after one ring. "Hey, Berwald?"

 _"... Yes?"_

"I'm having problems. I ordered furniture and I thought I'd be able to carry it up to my apartment but I can't and I don't have anyone else to call," he said in one breath. There was silence on the other line for a while.

 _"Address?"_

Tino quickly gave him his address and heard the line go dead. He shoved the phone back down and sat down on a bench in the dirty lobby. He waited for about half an hour, reading a book while he waited.

* * *

Berwald quickly put some clothes on, grabbed his keys, and headed out. He was more than happy to help Tino with his furniture. It's not like he had anything better to do today. When he arrived at the apartment building, he was surprised. He expected Tino to be staying somewhere nicer. He looked up at the run-down building one more time, parked his car, and got out.

Tino was sitting on a bench in the lobby. He looked up when Berwald came in and flashed him one of his cheery smiles, which was always appreciated. He had a really pretty smile. Berwald didn't smile back, but he did give him a faint nod and say, "Where is it?" Tino pointed to the boxes over near the entrance and the other glanced over at them. He didn't expect it to be the kind you assembled. He lifted one of the boxes onto his shoulder and followed Tino up to his room.

"Thank you so, so much, Berwald! I really thought they'd just rot down there in the lobby," Tino said as he pushed his door open. Berwald looked around at the small apartment. It smelled like laundry soap and something sugary. He put the box down, then went back down for the last two, hoisting both up onto his shoulders and climbing the stairs again.

Once he set the boxes down, he looked over at Tino. "Do you need help?"

Tino shook his head politely and said, "I don't want you to have to do all of it. I'd feel really bad. I mean, it would be... really nice if you could. But not if you're busy! If you want to leave, I would understand."

He definitely didn't want to leave. He nodded and said, "It's no problem." It really wasn't. It would have taken Tino longer to do it on his own, he was sure of that. He looked on the first and second boxes. It was a table. He opened them up and took out all of the pieces before he did anything. He didn't even look at the instructions, which clearly worried Tino, but he was confident that he could put together a table no problem.

He could feel Tino looking over his shoulder as he worked. He felt the man's hand on his shoulder as he tried to look closer. He glanced subtly over at him, then looked at what his hands were doing again. "Tino."

"Huh?"

He handed him a few screws and a tool. "Put those two legs on." Tino glanced over at the pieces of wood and sort of shook his head. "Uh, I don't-"

"Watch," he said, motioning for Tino to come closer. He then took one of the legs and put it on easily, and handed the tool back to Tino, who still wasn't sure about it. He tried to put the screw in but was turning it the wrong way. It was actually pretty funny to Berwald, but he wouldn't admit it. "No," he said, putting his hand over Tino's and turning the screw the other way. "This way."

It was really nice to have Berwald this close to him. He didn't mean it in a weird way, but he hadn't actually been in a relationship since his junior year in college and nobody was ever really this close to him anymore. Berwald was the type of man that radiated heat, too. He could feel it and it made him want to just sink back and lay on his chest, honestly. It was probably strong, too.

"Tino?"

He snapped out of his little trance and started with the table leg again. "Sorry!" He really hoped Berwald didn't notice him blushing because that would have been super embarrassing and he really didn't want Berwald to think there was something wrong with him. He finally got both table legs on, and when he tapped them, they were sturdy. He was pretty proud of himself.

When he looked down, Berwald was already done, which didn't make any sense because he had more to do. They both stood the table up and Tino gushed about it. "It's really nice having a table! I've been eating on the counter for months now," he said, running his hands over the table. "Anyways! Last box. It's a bed frame."

Tino went to the bedroom and Berwald picked up the bed frame and followed. He opened the box and took out the pieces. Tino was more eager to help this time around, actually picking up a few pieces himself and putting them together successfully. He beamed at his work and said, "See? I've got it."

Berwald actually cracked a little smile and said, "Very good." The smaller man laughed a little and said, "You think I did an A+ job?" Berwald looked up again, checking the part he put together. "Extra credit worthy," he replied, still working on the bed frame attentively. He could see Tino's smile widen in the corner of his eye.

When he was finished, he looked the bed frame over. It looked pretty good. Tino lifted the mattress and pushed it against the wall, then helped Berwald move the frame over. They both picked the mattress up and placed it on the frame. The minute it was on, Tino collapsed onto the bed. "Wow, this is so much better. I actually feel more successful with a complete bed," he said. He closed his eyes and sprawled out.

Berwald actually just felt really awkward and didn't know what to do. He stared at him for a moment, then turned to leave. There was always that little bit of weirdness with beds, like when you were over at your friends house, you didn't want to sleep in their bed with them because your mind went to sex. That's how he saw it, at least. "Hey wait! Berwald, thank you!" He turned and Tino was standing right in front of him. _Damn, he got off the bed really fast_ , he thought.

"You're welcome."

Tino nodded and extended his hand. "You made this a whole lot easier for me. I probably would have taken the whole day," he said with a giggle. The taller man grasped his hand, give it a gentle squeeze, then dropped it. "No problem," he murmured as he walked towards the front door. Right as he was about to walk out, he felt that hand on his shoulder again. "Um, I was just wondering if you wanted my number. Since you have mine?"

Berwald looked back at him and shrugged. "You called, so it's already in my phone," he replied. The other just flashed a grin and said, "Right! Right. Anyways, have a really good day, Berwald!"

"You, too, Tino."

With that, he left.

* * *

Tino buried his face into his pillow with a tiny smile. The bed was so warm and the window was open so the air was cold and the contrast was wonderful. He pulled the blankets up higher, covering half his face. He yawned quietly and was glad it was a Saturday and he didn't have work the next day so he could sleep in. He shut his eyes and tried to sleep again.

He thought a little about Berwald while he was trying to sleep. He didn't know why, that's just what his mind went to. He wasn't really afraid of him so much anymore. If he was going to do something scary, he probably would have done it today when he was over at Tino's apartment. He wasn't sure if they were friends yet, though.

He hoped so. Hanging out with Berwald could be really nice. He was definitely pleasant to be around, especially closely. He had just about melted when he was so close when they were putting the table together. He felt really stupid swooning like that, but he was tall and strong and he smelled really good like Ivory soap and clean sweat. Plus, he was so warm. He was probably really good to cuddle with. _And probably really good to have kinky sex with, too_ , he thought to himself.

He felt a little ashamed at that thought, but the good kind of ashamed where you know you'd still do whatever you were thinking about. The kind of ashamed where you hesitantly tell your friends and you think they'll be upset but they're actually cheering you on. That kind of ashamed.

But he shouldn't be! It wasn't like he was objectifying Berwald. He was nice and he would be really nice for road trips and museum visits and the cinema. Dates. And cuddling and cooking for. Nice things like that. He smiled more as he thought about it.

Why was he even thinking about it? Berwald was probably straight and he was being really intrusive. _But he isn't with anyone._ I mean, that doesn't mean he's gay. _But any woman would swoon over him._ Maybe he was picky about his women? _He's gay. Definitely gay. Plus did you see how he touched your hand?_ Tino sighed and shook his head. He had no idea. He could ask? But that would be rude.

Maybe if he just waited it would be obvious or he'd just tell him. Or maybe he'd find a woman or something. That would be awful, but at least he'd know then. Whatever, though. It really didn't matter in his daydreaming if Berwald was gay or straight.

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	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: "Liquid Courage"**

* * *

Tino stood in front of the mirror and stared at himself. He looked his body up and down, not sure if he was pleased with what he saw. He ran his hand over his stomach and scrunched up his nose. He could stand to lose some weight. I mean, technically, he wasn't even fat, just a little chubby, but it was enough for him to be self-conscious about it.

Tonight, he was going out. Not with anyone, just by himself. He needed to be around people tonight. It was making him sick to stay in the house all weekend alone. He was hesitant to go out drinking, but that seemed like the most reasonable thing to do on a Saturday night. He grabbed his phone and wallet, stuffing both into his pocket.

He just walked to the closest bar, which took some time, but he actually didn't have a car. If he had to go somewhere far, he just took the metro. It was cheaper than buying a car and he didn't have to deal with traffic. It was win win. He gave the bar a look over before going inside. It wasn't a nice bar, but it wasn't a bad bar, either. It was pretty typical. He walked over to the counter and took a seat, looking back at the drinks. The bartender came over and asked what he wanted, and he just shrugged and asked for a scotch.

There was nothing special about scotch, it was really just whiskey, but Tino hadn't been to many bars and he didn't want to try to order something too complicated when the bartender barely even knew English. When he got his drink, he downed it. The taste was awful, but nobody drank it for the taste, anyways. He ordered another. And another. And another. He downed a ninth one and dropped his head on the bar, a stupid smile on his face.

He laid there like that for a second before he felt someone sit down beside him. He squinted and looked over at them. It was some man with dark hair that he didn't recognize. He turned away again, but felt a hand tap his arm. "Huh?"

The man cleared his throat and started with some cheesey pick-up line. Tino immediately groaned, burying his head into his hands and shaking it. "Not interested," he murmured, standing up to leave. But the man followed him to the door. He turned around quickly and punched him. He didn't know that was going to happen. He didn't even know what was going on anymore. He stumbled back, tripping over a chair and falling onto the floor.

The man's face was blurry, but Tino was pretty sure he was mad. His fingers dug around in his pocket for his phone while the bartender was coming out from behind the bar to pull the man away. Tino didn't even notice that, he was too busy trying to find Berwald in his contacts. He pushed call and pressed the phone to his cheek, still laying on the floor. The phone rang a few times and he thought Berwald wouldn't answer, but he heard a groggy, _"Hello?"_ just before the machine picked up.

* * *

The phone kept ringing and he just glared at it. Who was calling this late? He picked it up and said, "Hello?"

 _"Ber! I reeeeally need you."_

He raised an eyebrow and pulled the phone away, glancing at the name. Tino? He pushed the phone back up to his face and got out of bed. "What?"

 _"I can't walk home like this, okay? Come get meee, Ber."_

"Are you drunk?" And why did he keep calling him Ber? He stood and got dressed, moving so fast that he nearly forgot to put his glasses back on.

 _"My head hurts A LOT."_ Berwald held the phone between his ear and his shoulder as he searched for his keys in his dark living room. He grabbed them and headed out to his car, starting it up. "Address?"

 _"Um..."_ He heard a yell and someone new was on the phone giving him the address. The line went dead and he stared at his phone for a second, completely confused. He started driving over there, hoping Tino was okay. He sounded really bad over the phone. He didn't really drink himself. Not anymore, at least. He hadn't had to deal with someone who was drunk in years, either. He didn't expect Tino to be one for drinking, but he figured most people had their days where they just let go.

When he finally got to the bar and walked inside, everyone turned to stare at him for some reason. The bartender just pointed to the corner where Tino was sitting in a chair and rocking back and forth slowly. When he noticed Berwald, he jumped up and drapped his arms around him, which competely caught the other off guard. His cheeks turned a little pink and he gently removed Tino's arms.

He actually had to wrap an arm around the smaller man to help him out. He kept stumbling and muttering things under his breath. When they were almost to the car, he said, "I don't feel good. Damn." He pushed Berwald away and ran to the other side of the car, bending over and puking next to the front wheel. When he finally looked back up, he looked like he was going to cry and Berwald really had no idea what he was supposed to do.

He hadn't dealt with someone like this. He'd dealt with people who got drunk on a regular basis and knew how to at least somewhat take care of themselves, but Tino was a different story. Tino was genuinely concerned about his state by the way he kept clutching his stomach and whining. He hesitantly helped the smaller man into the car, sort of cringing at the thought of him puking in his car. He buckled him in, then got in himself. "Tell me if you get sick again," he said, driving slowly.

Tino just nodded and wiped his mouth off with the back of his arm. "Ber, you are SO nice," he mumbled, resting his head on the cool window. "And you look like a really hot Swedish spy or something."

Berwald glanced over at him, not knowing what to say. Tino probably wouldn't even remember this. Or worse, he would. He just didn't say anything, but it was also good because now it was pretty obvious that Tino was gay. Not only had he said that, but now he kept gripping bicep and muttering under his breath in Finnish. He just let it happen, honestly. He was stuck in the car with him, anyways.

When they finally reached the apartment building, Berwald got out and opened Tino's door. The second he stepped out, he fell down with a groan. The other awkwardly lifted him up and was silently praying that he wouldn't puke. He remembered where the apartment was, but he didn't have a key and had to dig in Tino's pockets for it. It was actually in his wallet. He opened the door and looked around. It wouldn't have been appropriate to just leave him on the couch, so he pushed his bedroom door open and laid him in the bed.

Luckily, Tino was just staring at the ceiling, eyes glossed over. He had gone silent, which was good. He started to roll onto his back and Berwald moved him back to his side, saying, "Stay like this." He tried to kick his shoes off and Berwald pinched the bridge of his nose. _I can't just undress him, that's not right,_ he thought. _But maybe he'll keep trying to undress and then he'll want to lay on his back again or maybe he'll fall and hurt himself._

He inwardly groaned and took the others shoes off, then started sliding off his pants. Tino didn't even protest, he just kept whispering in Finnish like he was in the car. After a minute or so, he yelled, "Be gentle!"

Berwald looked away and pursed his lips. This was such an awkward situation for him and he was going to have to see Tino at work on Monday and he really, _really_ hoped he'd forget this. Once he finally got the pants past his feet, he tossed them onto the floor and covered him up. It scared the hell out of him to leave. I mean, it really did. So he just decided he wouldn't.

He didn't want to make it weird, but he'd been in situations like this before and he didn't want to wake up in the morning and find out that Tino had asphyxiated. He stayed in the apartment until about six in the morning. He just sat on the couch and got up every once in a while to check on Tino. Before he left, he poured him a glass of water and set it on the nightstand by his bed.

Tino was still out of it, though. He'd really be feeling it when he got up. Berwald almost reached out and touched him, but stopped. Was that okay? I mean, he wasn't even awake. He awkwardly patted his hand, figuring that was okay. He didn't move at all, though. He just let out a little snore and that was it. Berwald smirked very faintly, then turned to leave.

* * *

When Tino woke up in the morning, his head was throbbing. He hadn't felt this bad in a while. He looked around, seeing a glass of water on the nightstand. He had the worst taste in his mouth. He chugged the glass and slammed it back down, rubbing his head. He looked around, pleased to find he was in his own bed. He thought back to last night and remembered about half of it. He remembered Berwald picking him up and taking him back home. That was really it, but that was enough for him to cringe.

I mean, what had he said to Berwald? He thought hard, remembering a few things. His eyes widened as he remembered calling him hot. _Oh, no._ He slapped his hand up to his forehead and groaned. He'd probably ruined Berwalds night and now he knew he was gay and everything was falling apart. He stood up and made his way to the bathroom, thinking more, suddenly realizing that Berwald had been in his apartment with him. Berwald had put him to bed and...

Where were his pants? Did Berwald undress him? He blushed darkly and looked back into his room, seeing his pants on the floor. He knew for a fact he didn't have sex last night because he would have been feeling it now, so that was good. Actually, that was really, _really_ nice. That meant that Berwald had been with him when he was vulnerable and was still so nice.

"Aw," he whispered to himself, beaming. He really admired that. It was scary to think about what could have happened if Berwald didn't help him. He was like a hero. Well, not exactly. But he was like if someone had a personal hero all to themselves.

* * *

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	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: "Peachy Keen"**

* * *

Tino actually would have ignored Berwald if it were possible. He ran into him first thing on Monday in the hallway and looked over, giving a little smile. "Uh, hi! How are you, Berwald?" He asked, clutching the key to his classroom tightly. He wasn't sure he was ready to actually talk about what had happened the other night. He actually barely even knew what had happened. It felt like something bad had happened, but that probably wasn't true. Maybe he didn't even say anything too bad.

Berwald raised both eyebrows and said, "Good. You?"

"Good! Good..."

The entire week continued awkwardly like that. Neither knew what to say. Berwald was convinced that Tino didn't remember a thing. What could he say? He was hopeful. I mean, it made sense that he wouldn't remember. Maybe that's why Tino wasn't talking about it? It was either he remembered a little bit or enough to feel uncomfortable.

Unfortunately, it was the latter. Tino was pretty sure he'd puked and Berwald probably had to see it. But at least he was used to it from children. That was one comforting thought. He hoped he didn't puke in his car, though. He really actually wanted to know what happened fully, but was afraid to ask. But what if he did something just completely fucked up?

He finally gave in and caught Berwald in the hallway a week later. "Hey, Berwald! Could you come with me real quick? I need to talk to you."

Berwald gave a small nod and got up, following the teacher back to his classroom. He knew what was coming. He was going to address what happened the other night. "So, um, could you tell me what happened the other night? Exactly?" He shut the door and locked it before sitting on top of his desk. The other man raised both eyebrows, staring at the floor as if he was trying to remember.

"Well," he began hesitantly. "You called around one. You puked on the way to the car. You spoke in Finnish mostly. I took you home and you tried to undress, so I..." He paused and blushed a little. "...I helped you. You fell asleep."

That wasn't enough for Tino. "What did I say?" He asked, leaning forward.

"...called me hot. The rest was in Finnish."

Tino breathed out a sigh of relief and gave a small giggle. "Great! I thought I'd said something completely awful." That was good, at least. He was glad Berwald didn't understand Finnish because he was probably saying really embarrassing things. "That was really nice of you to do all of that for me and I feel bad for making you go through all that trouble. I'd like to take you out! We could grab a bite. I'll pay."

The idea was really nice, but Berwald wasn't sure he was fine with Tino paying for him. "Don't have to," he said quietly. Tino's smiled widened and he said, "But I want to! Don't worry, it'll be casual. Tomorrow night? We can just meet there."

He actually gave in for two reasons. One, he liked Tino. Two, he was so adamant to take him to dinner he wasn't sure he actually could've said no.

* * *

Berwald looked around at the restaurant as Tino tugged on his arm, pulling him to a table. He sat down and looked down at the menu, then up at Tino again. He was extra cheerful tonight. It was a wonder his cheeks didn't hurt from smiling all the time.

"I was about to look at the drinks but I don't think I should try that for a while," he said with a laugh. Berwald nodded and looked through the menu. He could feel Tino's eyes on him and he glanced up for a second. He didn't turn away. He just kept smiling. It was weird in a really good way. He almost asked him why he was staring, but Tino quickly said, "You look really good!"

Berwald almost smiled at that. "You, too," he replied. Honestly, Tino always looked good. He dressed nice and he had well kept hair. He was a good looking guy, inside and out. There were plenty of guys out there that had a good face, but Tino was the full package. Personality and all. That seemed rare nowadays. He didn't tell Tino this, though. The "you, too" had already caused him to beam.

"You think I look good?"

 _You always look good._ "Yes."

The other blushed, but he didn't try to hide it. He surely felt it, too. They stared at each other for a moment until the waitor came over and took their orders. Berwald automatically ordered whatever didn't cost much since Tino was paying. Tino was a lot more leniant for himself. They both looked at each other again. "So why did you come to Copenhagen, Ber? I mean, Berwald!" He let out a really nervous laugh and slapped a hand over his heart. "Sorry."

The other man just shook his head, not bothered at all. "Somewhere new, is all." That was sort of the truth. Tino nodded, looking genuinely interested. "I bet you're family misses you!"

He blinked once, glancing down at the silverware on the table. "Sometimes," he said as he tapped the end of the knife quietly on the table. That was a lie. His family didn't miss him at all. If they missed him, they would have called, and they hadn't since he'd moved here five years ago. He didn't want to burden Tino with that fact, though. That wasn't polite or acceptable, especially when he'd known him for this short a time.

People always liked to spill their shit whenever they got the first chance, thinking they could trust someone after a short period, but that wasn't true. Even if they begged to know, even if they said you could trust them, it was never good to burden someone with the tribulations of your life before you absolutely had to, because even when they said they were looking at you the same as before, even when they said they didn't pity you, they were lying. Not that it was their fault. It was the most human thing to do.

Tino shrugged at the answers, not completely content, but not wanting to pry, either. "Oh. Do you ever go back?"

He shook his head and took a drink of his water. Tino raised his eyebrows, clearly not picking up on the fact that he wasn't fond of the subject. "Why not?"

"It doesn't bother me to not go back."

"But it must bother your family."

He shook his head and again said, "Sometimes."

Tino crossed his arms and squinted. He could see there was something Berwald wasn't telling him, but he was done with the questions about Sweden. "Well, do you like music?"

"Yes."

Tino grinned, pleased to find something that Berwald liked. "What kind?"

"Electro."

That was surprising. He nodded slowly and looked him up and down. "Like?"

He thought for a second. "Kraftwerk?" Tino shrugged and leaned back in his chair. "I've heard of them but never heard any of their music."

"And you?"

"What kind of music do _I_ like?" Berwald nodded and Tino crossed his arms, thinking. "Huh. Pop, I guess. Maybe... R&B?" Tino usually just listened to whatever was popular. He wasn't picky when it came to music. The conversation ended when their food was set down in front of them. Tino was a fairly fast eater, but he was quiet. Berwald ate a bit slower and was a quiet eater as well.

"So you must like kids?"

Berwald nodded. "Yes." That was really good to hear for Tino. They were so important to him and he couldn't imagine ever being into someone who didn't like children. That was always a huge red flag. "Good! Kids are great. Especially babies."

"Babies are nice," Berwald said apathetically despite the fact that he would adopt every single baby in the world if he could. Who could hate babies? I mean, they were just tiny and smooth and pudgy.

"Right?" Tino took a drink of his tea, then said, "My favorite thing though is definitely babies with leg rolls. They look like little pudgy donut stacks."

He tried not to smile, but that got to Berwald a little and he couldn't help the small smile that graced his lips. "The feet are surreal," he added. The other man nodded as he took another bite of his food. "Because they're so tiny! Pinky sized. Then you look at your own feet and it seems impossible that any feet could be so tiny. Babies smell really good, too," Tino added on.

"The cries are upsetting."

"Well the tiny ones have that really sad cry and it just makes you feel so bad."

"Exactly."

Tino let out a sigh and stirred the ice in his drink. "Having a baby would be so great. Not actually having it, but adopting one. A really tiny baby."

Berwald set his fork down and looked up at Tino. "Not now."

"Yeah, now would be a really bad time!"

They both looked at each other, wondering if they were on the same page. The conversation was headed somewhere neither was sure about. It was almost like they were having a standoff. Everytime Tino would open his mouth to speak, he'd close it again and cross his arms. Berwald pushed up his glasses, then said, "Catch a film after this?"

Tino was practically glowing. "Definitely."

* * *

 **Gimme some dank reviews, dawg.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: "Kaffe Rakkaus"**

* * *

 _ **A/N: Hello! I would like to remind all readers that although I have definitely done my research, I am not Finnish, Swedish, and more importantly, I'm not Danish and I definitely don't live in Denmark. This may skew things sometimes because it is an area I am not familiar with and a culture that I can't fully grasp without being there.**_

 _ **So if you see something and know that it isn't correct, my apologies! I mean no disrespect!**_

* * *

It had been over a week since the pair had gone out, but both still thought about it and were waiting for the other to make the next move. The next move being an official date. I mean, it was sort of a date before, wasn't it? Both were unsure, but hopeful.

Finally, one made a plan. Reluctantly, it was Berwald. Not that he was hesitant to ask Tino out, but he was a little rusty and the idea of being rejected was incredibly unappealing. He was going to do it that Friday during the lunch break. He had decided this the night before as he stared himself in the eyes through a mirror, mentally pumping himself up.

 _You can do this. He'll say yes._ He took a deep breath, carefully planning it out. Did he want to try to be smooth? Did he want to play it cool? Did he want to seem sincere? Maybe a little of both? Or maybe Tino liked men who were more demanding? He shook his head and sat down, contemplating every option.

 _Okay, so what's the backup plan if he says no?_ He tapped his foot, thinking further, visualizing the event of asking the other man out. He could go into the classroom during lunch break. It was at 11:00. Or was it 11:30? He'd have to find out. He could probably ask Mr. Vargas. Or he could ask Tino. But that'd be suspicious. Either way, he'd ask him out on a date then. And if he said no, he'd . . .

 _Be utterly and completely crushed . . ._

Be utterly and completely fine.

He'd say something like "I understand" and leave with a very forced smile. Wait, not a smile. Maybe a nod? Something that says "If you change your mind, I'm still here." Maybe a hint of a smile with a nod.

 _But meetings would be so fucking awkward._

But it would be worse to just never say anything and realize he felt the same after it was too late. He knew he needed to stop talking himself out of it. Tomorrow. Friday. 11:00… or 11:30. The classroom. No backing out.

* * *

 _"Aha! That's right, Liam! The snow is only going to get deeper in December."_

 _"But the children are happy, I'm sure. School closings are listed below."_

Berwald stared at the red strand at the bottom of the screen, almost immediately spotting his school. He was glad at first, but then his heart sunk once he realized that his plan was ruined. This had to be some kind of fate. The final decision. He wasn't meant to ever ask him out and this was the sign that he was getting a second chance in not humiliating himself.

With a sigh, he went into the kitchen and searched for something to eat. He hadn't had much time to go grocery shopping. Also, he hated grocery stores. His cabinets were bare, save a small jar of peanut butter and a bruised apple on the counter. Berwald looked out at the white streets, not thrilled to have to go out in this, but knowing there was no other option if he wanted to eat something. With a quiet grunt of dissatisfaction, he left.

* * *

 _"Aha! That's right, Liam! The snow is only going to get deeper in December."_

 _"But the children are happy, I'm sure. School closings are listed below."_

Tino grinned and turned the radio off, letting out a satisfied sigh. This was definitely a perk of being a teacher. His grip on the wheel tightened as he grinned even wider, pulling into the parking lot of the nearest store to the school. He wasn't going to eat breakfast today, but after the good news, he decided he deserved something.

* * *

The fluorescents. The mother that couldn't keep her five children from screaming. The smell of cleaner. The constant crinkle of packaging. Berwald really did hate grocery stores. He had tried to apply to one once but couldn't stand it and walked out before he could even get an application.

He kept to himself, grabbing only what he needed. He wished he needed less. He had to get a cart and he hated having to get a cart. He rarely had to use them as he lived alone and didn't need much groceries most of the time. He felt like a mom.

When he had everything he needed, he headed for the checkout, which was, of course, full. There were six people ahead of him and he just waited, not patiently, but silently.

* * *

Tino clutched the carton of ice-cream in his hand. He must have looked crazy, buying ice-cream when it was so cold outside. Nonetheless, he got in line. There were only two lanes open, which was a bit ridiculous considering the amount of customers. They were buying the essentials, most likely thinking the weather was only going to get worse.

Tino tapped his foot, waiting for the next three people in line to move up. He looked around, not sure of what else to do. He looked over to see if the one other lane open was less full than the one he was in, but by the looks of it, it was even longer. He stood up on his tiptoes and looked over the people, spotting someone who looked an awful lot like Berwald, but he couldn't tell because he was turned away.

Despite being unsure, Tino slipped out of line and stepped a bit closer, trying to get a glimpse of his face without being too obvious. Finally, the man turned to face forward again, exposing the clear profile of Berwald. Tino smiled, then stood in line behind him, saying nothing.

When he turned forward again, Tino stood at his left side and tapped his right shoulder softly. It was one of those things he hadn't done since middle school, but for some reason it seemed appropriate. Berwald turned to the right, then quickly turned to the left and stepped back slightly when he saw Tino, caught completely off guard.

Tino laughed softly, smiling up at him. "I thought I saw you when I was over there! I'm glad you're here. It's a funny coincidence, isn't it?"

The other man nodded, even managing to smile slightly. He didn't think he was going to have to see Tino today at all. He couldn't believe he caught him at the store, either. He didn't live near it by any means.

But this also meant that his plan wasn't trashed. He could still ask Tino if he wanted to go out sometime on a date. He wasn't prepared to see him here by any means, though, and when he opened his mouth to speak, nothing came. Tino was still beaming up at him, though. "You okay, Berwald?" Tino asked. It was a good question, too, because Berwald wasn't even sure himself. He began to speak, stammering over his words.

"Yes. When are you free?"

 _Alright, good start,_ he thought to himself. Wait, but should he have asked if he was free? Not when? Because then it would have been easier to turn it around if he said no.

"I'm almost always free when I'm not working! I think I should go to the library to learn more about the upcoming lesson, but I could always do that over the weekend. Why do you ask?"

Tino hoped that Berwald was asking him out on a date. He had been waiting for long enough. If he wasn't going to speak up and do it, he would just have to do it himself. But he could be patient. He looked up eagerly. Maybe a little too eagerly.

"I thought we could go out again."

It was like in one of those cartoons where the person in love has hearts for eyes and a cherry red face. But Tino felt it all on the inside. He couldn't stop grinning and his cheeks nearly hurt, but he was ecstatic. "I would love to go out! When? I'm okay with whenever! We should go tomorrow, though! Or tonight. I mean, it's short notice, huh? But we could go do something this evening! Unless you're busy, in which case I totally understand!" He giggled, his nose scrunching up slightly.

Berwald nodded quickly, searching for words again. "Tonight. Okay." He felt stupid not adding onto it, but he didn't know what else to say. Luckily, Tino was on it.

"I know one of the art museums is opening a new exhibit and I thought about going to it. Is that okay? We could grab some coffee first if you want! Unless you don't like it. The art, I mean!"

"I like art," he replied. In all honesty, he didn't know much about it. But he was willing to go anywhere with Tino. "I'll pick you up at…"

"Six. Is six okay?"

Berwald nodded. _Six._

* * *

Berwald waited patiently in his car, occasionally glancing at his phone. He was waiting for Tino to come out. He was thrilled for this date. He had really tried to look good tonight. Not that he didn't try before. Now it just seemed more important with Tino around.

When the other man finally came outside, he was wrapped up in a green coat and a light blue scarf. He looked good. He was wearing those tight grey pants again and Berwald was glad. He reached over, opening the door for him. "You look good," he said shyly, not being able to look at him for some reason.

Tino smiled, buckled up, and said, "Thank you! You do, too! You always look good, though. But especially right now."

Berwald smiled as he began to drive. He listened to Tino talk most of the ride to the coffee shoppe they were going to. He added something in occasionally, but he just liked to listen. There was nothing boring about listening to Tino. Everything he said seemed to be relevant. He was funny, too, but in strange way. It was inspirational.

* * *

Tino sipped his hot chocolate and hummed quietly along to the music that was playing. He smiled at Berwald, nodded at his cup, and said, "What are you drinking?"

"Tea."

"You don't like coffee?"

"No."

Tino laughed slightly. "I don't either."

Berwald looked around at the pictures of coffee cups, then at all the people drinking coffee, most likely from the bags of coffee beans on the counter. In the coffee shoppe. "Why did you suggest a coffee shoppe?"

Tino gave a little shrug, then said, "Because I thought you liked coffee."

* * *

The art museum was packed, but Tino didn't care. He ran around the rooms, pointing at paintings and explaining their significance to Berwald, who was pretty sure that if he needed to, he could explain each one of the pieces in detail now.

He didn't want the night to end so quickly, but it was almost midnight and he had to take Tino home. There was always the second option of hooking up, but Berwald wanted to take it slow. And Tino didn't seem like the type to get in and get out. He was too sweet for that.

Berwald parked his car and looked at the building. "I'll walk you up."

"No! No, you don't have to. Really," Tino said. He really wanted him to, but he didn't want to seem impolite. Luckily, Berwald insisted and took him inside anyways. When they got to Tino's apartment, they both stopped and just sort of looked at each other.

"Thanks, Berwald. I had a really nice time and I hope we can do something else really soon."

Berwald nodded and leaned in, testing out the waters to see if he could, in fact, kiss him. He didn't move away and that was a really good sign. He brought up a hand, just grazing it over Tino's cheek before cupping it and pressing a kiss to his lips.

The response was good. Tino wrapped his arms around Berwald's neck, adding a little more to the kiss. They stayed that way for a couple minutes, lips attached, arms wrapped around each other, and minds foggy.

When they pulled apart, they stared at each other again. It was clear that neither wanted to leave. Finally, Tino said, "It's late. I better…"

"Yeah."

Still, neither moved. "Goodnight, Berwald."

"Goodnight, Tino."

Berwald was the one who had to turn and go, leaving Tino in front of his door, suddenly feeling more alone and desirous than he had in months.

* * *

 **Reviews help me out.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: "Desk Apple is just for looks"**

* * *

Any ounce of shyness Tino had before was now gone. He shamelessly waved to Berwald in the hallways, grinning too widely for work. Berwald was starting to lose a little bit of his shyness as well. He occasionally gave a little smile and a wave, which was also little, but they'd come a lot further.

Tino was hoping to catch Berwald on the way to his class, but he wasn't anywhere to be seen. He was probably off working. Tino gave a little shrug and went inside the room, put his stuff down, and filled out the board for the class later.

Students came in after a while. They all looked so funny in their big, puffy coats. Like colourful little marshmallows. They hung them up in the back and took their seats. Mathias Kohler, who was normally loud and outgoing, was noticeably quiet.

Not that this was a problem. Tino was beyond relieved. When his worst students were quiet, it was usually good. It was hard to teach when some of them threw paper planes and talked to their friends across the room. Tino was slightly concerned despite feeling relief. It wasn't _always_ good when a child started acting different all of the sudden. He decided he'd try to keep an eye on him for today.

Class went on and soon they were onto their last project. It was an easy one and they were allowed to talk quietly during it. They just had to draw a scene from the book they finished reading. While they did this, he graded papers. He really wanted to eat something, but he didn't think it was fair to do that in front of the students. Besides, all he had today was an apple. Not that he hated fruit, but he wasn't in the mood for it today. Or ever, really.

He kept at grading, off in his own world. He was a notorious daydreamer and really should have been paying more attention. He heard something fall and probably break, causing him to look up. The first thing he noticed were his two students, Lukas Bondevik and Mathias Kohler, standing up at their desk. The second thing he noticed was a broken jar and scattered pencils.

"Please sit down, Mathias. You too, Lukas," he said, walking over to their desk. Mathias, to his surprise, did as he was told, but Lukas ran out. Tino walked over to the phone and started to call the principal, but decided this might have been one for the counselor instead. Then he called Berwald to clean up the mess, not trusting himself to get it all. Besides, he really wanted to see Berwald.

"Everyone please keep working!"

He finally came. Tino assumed he must have not been busy, but Berwald was really just eager to see the other again. Tino pointed to a pile of glass and said, "I think it just accidentally got knocked off. I don't trust myself to pick up all the pieces."

Berwald nodded understandingly and picked out the pencils, setting them on one of the desks. He swept up most of the glass, but some pieces were tricky and he had to pick them up with his hands. One of the pieces cut his finger open after he'd held it the wrong way. He tossed it and starting wiping the small amount of blood onto his jeans.

"Oh, let me help you!" Tino said, grabbing his hand and pulling him over to the desk. He dug around in his desk for bandages. He only had the ones for children. They were all Mickey Mouse print and he smiled, unwrapping it and putting it on for Berwald with a tiny shrug and a giggle. The other seemed amused by having to be cared for, especially over a tiny cut.

Tino would have kissed it if he wasn't in public, but he was, so he just held his hand for a moment and hoped nobody noticed.

* * *

Berwald stopped by Tino's room after school. Mostly to see him, but he also had to deal with the trash and things like that. Custodial things. "What happened?"

Tino sat on his desk and watched Berwald. "What do you mean?"

"That kid ran out."

Oh. Tino just shrugged. Before Berwald left, Mathias Kohler ran out of the classroom. What was weirder was than he came back soon with Lukas. He didn't even have to send anyone after them. He figured he'd just let this one slide, too, seeing as there was no real damage done. "I think they had a fight," he replied. "They were taking it seriously, too."

"That one gets into trouble."

Tino nodded in agreement. "Mathias gets in trouble a lot, but I think he generally means well. I don't think he goes out of his way to cause trouble like Gilbert Beilschmidt does."

Berwald replaced a trash bag and glanced at Tino, who looked like he wanted to say something else, but was silent. He shook it off and figured he was probably just imaging it. But didn't he look a little concerned? He couldn't be absolutely sure.

He continued doing his job, occasionally glancing at Tino, who was looking off at the wall. "Hey, Ber?"

The nickname made him freeze. He turned slightly to him. "What?"

"I was just wondering what was going on."

Berwald didn't understand the question. He put the rag he was using down and walked over to him. "What?"

Tino didn't want to have to explain himself. "Well," he began with a small smile, "What are we? Are we dating?"

Oh. _Oh._ Berwald thought so. Tino looked like he hoped so. "Yes," he said, hesitantly pulling him into a hug. He would have been a lot more comfortable if they weren't in public where they could be seen, but he thought the situation called for a hug, and it felt good to be holding Tino. His arms wrapped around his neck tightly and he smelled good like pencils and how syrup tasted if it could have been a scent. It made him want to pull him closer, but he couldn't.

"Good! I thought so but I wanted to make sure you thought so, too!" He said, the smile prevalent in his voice. They both stayed that way for a while until Tino kissed his cheek and pulled away, sitting back at his desk. "So do we tell people?"

Berwald thought for a moment, unsure. He didn't want to say no because he didn't want to sound like he was ashamed of their relationship, but he was afraid of saying yes because he wasn't sure who Tino would tell. "It's your choice," he replied, curious as to how Tino felt about it.

"I think we should tell some people, but not most. And we don't need to be sneaky, but flaunting doesn't seem very smart either because I don't know who approves here. Mr. Winters would probably have a fit," he said with a laugh.

Berwald nodded, thinking already about who he could possibly tell, anyways.

* * *

Berwald had never felt so good in his life. The only thing that could even compare was when his grandfather was still alive and he had him to talk to and build with, but that was different. This was different. He felt like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders and he was free to do so many more things with what he felt for Tino. And he was sure it was love. He hadn't known him for long, but he loved him throughout time.

There was no doubt in his mind. He could see a future with him and felt in his heart that in the universe, there was a time for him to tell Tino he loved him, that he wanted to marry him, that he wanted to raise children with him, to age with him, and each level existed somewhere. He knew. It sounded stupid and he wouldn't admit it to Tino anytime soon, but he knew what he felt. He knew it wasn't infatuation. He could picture the bad times and he was still eager to proceed.

And the kiss? That was when he knew. He was holding everything he'd ever been looking for in his arms and there was no turning back. He didn't have a word for what he'd been striving for his entire life, but now he did, and it was Tino Vainamoinen, and he could have ran down the street screaming the words, and everyone would have stared and told him to shut up, but that was love. He was love, and everyone deserved to know what great people inhabited the world and defined its grace.

He couldn't do that, though. He was too shy

* * *

 **Give me those reviews, friends.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10: "Candy Canes and Christmas Cookies: Part 1"**

* * *

Christmas break was such a good benefit of being a teacher. Tino had two weeks off and intended to savor it.

Christmas was his favorite holiday, too. Everything about it was just so magical. The first thing he did when he got off work on his final day was pick a Christmas tree up and a few cheap decorations. He would have done it earlier, but he didn't have time. He set it up in the front room and felt more at peace knowing it was there. Though he felt a little twinge in his heart at experiencing it alone.

He wasn't going back to Finland for Christmas because his parents had decided to take a cruise for Christmas and it was useless to just go for his distant relatives. He didn't want to spend money on a plane ticket if he didn't have to.

It hadn't really occurred to him that he could be facing his first Christmas alone. _First._ Hopefully it would be his last. Well, he wouldn't need to cook. He could just go out to eat for Christmas, he supposed. But something about that seemed so wrong. He still had a few days to figure out what he wanted to do, though.

He was sure Berwald would be busy. He'd probably be visiting his family or they would be visiting him and he didn't want to bother him. He was sure it would be okay, though. A lot of people spent their Christmas's alone, right? Some people every single year. And this was just one.

* * *

Berwald stared at the television, watching the news. They were talking about some Christmas light display, which was completely irrelevant, but it was clear that they were trying to provide positive news with Christmas being so close.

Berwald didn't celebrate Christmas. He hadn't since his grandfather had died. He was the only person who ever celebrated it, anyways. He always gave him some small gift like a ball or a book, and a bag of candy. He probably would have still been giving him the same thing today. A bag of candy and a little toy. He wouldn't have cared that Berwald was an adult now. And Berwald wouldn't have cared either, for that matter.

That was many years ago, though, and it was best to not dwell on the past. Berwald wasn't religious like his grandfather was. He saw no point to it anymore, which cut out Christmas from his life. Not that this was a big change. He didn't think about it most of the time.

So why was he thinking about it now? The news was over and his mind still wandered. He thought about what Tino would be doing. He'd probably be going back to Finland, so he didn't want to bother him on his vacation.

He wondered if Tino even celebrated Christmas. Even if he didn't, he would probably be visiting his family. He felt jealous for some reason. He also felt ashamed. He shouldn't have been jealous. Tino would be seeing his loved ones and that was a good thing, right?

 _But what about me . . ._

No. He couldn't think something like that. But here he was, clearly thinking it. He rubbed his forehead with a quiet sigh, trying to push the thought out.

* * *

Christmas Eve rolled around faster than either men expected. Tino was panicking because he was truly realizing that he would be alone on Christmas. He was so sure he'd be fine, but it was clear that this was NOT going to be okay.

No gifts. No Christmas dinner. No smiles and laughter and clinking mugs of hot chocolate together. Just watching Home Alone on television by himself. He choked back a few tears at the realization, standing up and pacing.

 _I'm being such a baby,_ he thought, rubbing his temples. He should have known how to handle this. To be mature. But here he was, having a panic attack and not being able to stop it. It had really hit him that he was alone here. His family wasn't even in Finland now. He breathed quicker, pressing two fingers to his neck and checking his pulse. His heart was beating rapidly and he began sobbing, unsure if he should call someone or call the paramedics.

He immediately crossed out option two. They'd put him in the nuthouse on Christmas and that wasn't going to happen if he could help it. But there had to be something he could do. Someone he could talk to.

Tino took a ragged breath and dialed in Berwald's number, reaching his breaking point at last. He was glad that the other answered after one ring. "Ber?"

 _"Tino?"_

He started crying a little harder, realizing that now he was going to seem crazy to the only person who he cared for here. "Hey, are you busy or anything?"

 _"No. Why?"_

He sniffled, wiping his nose on his sweater sleeve. "You wanna come over? I can cook you something!" He felt like he could run a mile and he was pacing back and forth in the short hallway, occasionally sitting down, only to jump back up and pace again.

 _"When?"_

"Uh, now."

Berwald could sense that something was wrong. He noticed that Tino's voice was shaky and he was worried. _"Alright. I'll be there."_

* * *

The minute Berwald opened the door, Tino latched onto his body and started crying, although he was still trying to hide it. Berwald blinked a few times and hugged him, wondering what was wrong, but actually putting two and two together and realizing he was alone on Christmas Eve, and would probably be alone on Christmas Day.

"I'm sorry! I'm having a bad day," he said, giving a little laugh.

"I can tell," Berwald replied. Tino just nodded and hugged him tighter, pressing a kiss to his cheek. He was grateful that he'd shown up so fast. He was a little calmer now, though still on edge.

"I went out and bought some food. I can cook pretty well!"

Berwald nodded as he followed Tino into the kitchen and took off his coat, setting it on the back of one of the chairs. Tino was already taking out pots and pans and things of that sort, going like he had more energy than he'd ever had. "You're okay?"

Tino nodded, flashing a little reassuring smile. "I just was feeling lonely. I didn't mean to worry you so much, Ber," he said, turning the oven on.

"Why aren't you home?"

Tino sighed at the question and took out food, preparing it as he spoke. "My parents are the only family I really have, and they're on a cruise this year. So going home was useless. Why aren't you in Sweden?"

"I don't celebrate Christmas."

Tino stopped what he was doing and stared at him. "Why?"

"My family didn't celebrate much."

Tino grinned and patted his cheek. "Well this will be a very good Christmas for you! Or Xmas. However you want!"

Berwald couldn't help but to smile. "It's not bad already," he said. "Do you want help?"

"Huh? Oh, no! You don't have to help."

"I want to."

Tino grinned and took out some cooking utensils, spreading them across the counter. "Well, peel those potatoes, please. Sorry for sticking you with the bad job," he said with a giggle. Berwald just shrugged, smiling a little more and doing as he was told.

Tino occasionally stopped cooking and helped him, instructing him on what to do. Tino seemed to be pretty good at cooking, too. That was very admirable to Berwald, who couldn't cook to save his life. He was surprised he hadn't screwed something up already.

They talked and joked, exchanging a few kisses while they were cooking. Tino was very, very pleased. It was turning out to be the holiday season he'd wanted all along. He appreciated Berwald so much and just . . . loved him. He was like nobody he'd ever met. He was wonderful and kind and handsome and smart and loving. He was everything. Tino kept quiet about this, though. He didn't want to scare Berwald off.

Once the meal was done, they sat at the little table and ate. Berwald hadn't had food that good in years. Nobody in his family knew how to cook. "This is really good," he said, trying to eat slower and not be a gross eater. Normally he didn't have to worry about how he looked eating, but he always tried to look his best around Tino.

Tino beamed at the compliment and said, "You helped a lot, too!"

Berwald shook his head. "No. You're really good at cooking."

The other man grinned, pouring himself a glass of wine. "Well, thank you. I'm sure you're good at plenty of things way more interesting than cooking, right?"

Berwald shrugged, then said, "Wood working."

"Really? That's so cool! I wish I could do that!"

He was such a teacher that Berwald nearly laughed. He was motivational all the time, it seemed. Still, nobody had ever responded like that when he explained his interest. Tino was so positive and encouraging. It was refreshing.

They talked more, discussing interests, talking a bit more about Christmas. Finally, there was silence and Tino said, "Berwald?"

"Hm?"

He cleared his throat and leaned forward, unsure if he should even ask. "When I was in Finland, all of my family would stay together on Christmas Eve. Through the night, I mean! And I was wondering if you would stay with me." Tino was a bit shy about asking, because he really wasn't insinuating anything. He genuinely didn't want to be alone.

Berwald seemed to think for a moment, then said, "Yes. I'll stay."

Tino's heart skipped a beat and he hadn't been so happy since the night Berwald kissed him for the first time.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11: "Candy Canes and Cookies: Part 2"**

* * *

 _ **I'd like to apologize for such a short chapter. I have been very busy!**_

* * *

Tino leaned his head gently on Berwald's shoulder as the pair watched some cheesy Christmas movie they were playing on TV. Tino was definitely content with this, and faced no inner turmoil. The same could not be said for Berwald.

He wasn't paying attention to the movie at all, really, but was thinking about this circumstance. He was staying the night with Tino. What did that mean? Did that mean he'd sleep with him? Did it mean he'd _sleep_ with him? Was he supposed to make some sort of move on the other man or would that be wrong to do on Christmas eve?

He wasn't sure. Berwald had been waiting for so long, though, and he'd definitely thought about making a move. More prominent than kissing, that is. He always imagined what it would be like to touch Tino, but now that he was so close and so accessible, he wasn't sure what to actually do.

"Ber, do you want some hot chocolate? I can make some."

Berwald snapped out of his thoughts and nodded, watching for a moment as Tino walked away. He could hear him humming as he put a kettle on the stove. He seemed so happy. Berwald didn't want to mess the night up with a wrong move. But then again, it was Tino who'd asked him to stay in the first place.

 _What does that have to do with anything?_

Berwald shook his head faintly and waited patiently until Tino came back with two mugs of hot chocolate. He smiled and sat back down, replacing his head on Berwald's shoulder. This time, Berwald wrapped an arm around his shoulders. It wasn't demanding or tight, but was relaxed and easy. Almost unsure. Tino immediately scooted closer, though, and before Berwald could do anything else, Tino's lips were pressed to his cheek.

"Tino?"

Tino grinned and kissed the side of his lips softly, ignoring the other man only for a moment. "Yes? What is it?"

Berwald turned and pulled Tino into an embrace, pressing a kiss to his lips bravely. Tino just grinned more and wrapped his arms around his neck tightly, giving him light kisses on his neck. "Aw, Ber! You're so sweet." He kept kissing his neck and his jawline, not showing any hesitation. "I'm so happy you're here."

Berwald was happy he was there, too. He hadn't been shown affection in over a year, and here Tino was, constantly kissing and nuzzling and hugging. He almost felt guilty for accepting it all. Tino was so perfect and he was…

Just himself. Quiet, reserved, and somewhat cold. Tino was the complete opposite. Loud, outgoing, and incredibly warm. He was everything he couldn't be but wished for. He completed him.

The two stayed on the couch for a few minutes, sharing slow, passionate kisses. Tino was practically in Berwald's lap by now, but Berwald definitely didn't mind. After a while longer, Tino pulled away and smiled at him. "Hey, Berwald?"

"Yes?"

Tino reached up, cupped his cheek, and chuckled nervously. "You know I care, don't you? About you, I mean. And I know we haven't known each other for that long but I think you're really different. You're nice and quiet and you aren't just trying to hook up with me and I like that."

Berwald nodded and hesitantly put a hand over Tino's. He didn't know what to say.

"And I just really like you. A lot."

"I like you, too."

That was basically a lie. Berwald loved Tino so much and he was still too afraid to say anything about it, so he kept his mouth shut for now.

Tino was silent for a moment before speaking softly again. "Berwald, I'm sorry if you thought that tonight was going to turn into something else. I'm not very sexy and I'm not very good at initiating things and I'm just really tired and I'm sorry!"

It took Berwald a moment to understand what he was talking about, and when he finally understood, he said, "You don't owe me anything. Don't be sorry."

Tino held onto his arm and kissed his shoulder, then said, "But I am. I don't mean to be a prude."

"You're smart," he replied. He knew it wasn't good to sleep with someone he didn't give a shit about and he didn't want Tino to do that. It wasn't fair to him. But then he couldn't help but wonder if Tino did, in fact, care about him.

 _Sex doesn't equal care._

Berwald took a deep breath. That was true. And besides, Tino was probably just being careful. It was a good thing that they were taking this slow. It had only been four months, after all. And neither were interested in hooking up. It would just take time.

"Thank you so much, Ber. It's really hard for me to even date. Everyone wants instant gratification and sex and it makes me so nervous to not provide that."

Berwald pulled Tino into another embrace and just held him, letting him know that it was okay. "I understand."

After a few seconds, Tino said, "You still like me, then, trooper?"

"Very much."

Tino grinned cheerfully and squeezed Berwald's hand tightly, pleased with the answer. "Good. I worry, you know?"

Berwald nodded and for a while, they sat in silence again, just enjoying each others company.

* * *

"Berwald!"

Tino shook the other mans shoulder gently and whispered louder. "Berwald, wake up!"

Berwald groaned and turned onto his side away from Tino, who was still shaking his shoulder. "Berwald, wakey shakey! Eggs and bakey!" He kissed his cheek over and over again. Finally, he sat up, rubbing his nose and reaching for his glasses. Tino giggled and got up, smiling like he had a secret. Berwald looked him up and down, looked behind the couch, then looked forward and squinted. "What is it, Tino?"

Tino pursed his lips and gave a little shrug before pulling out a box wrapped in pretty gold paper. "Merry Christmas, Berwald. I hope this is the best one you've had. Even if you slept on an old couch."

Berwald took the gift, his eyes not leaving Tino's. He felt so guilty. He hadn't even thought about a gift for Tino because he didn't think he'd even be seeing him on Christmas. He blushed at his falter and tried to give the gift back, but Tino shook his head. "Nope! It's all yours, Ber."

"Tino, I-"

"Nope, nope, nope! Open it."

Tino was so excited and so cheery that Berwald could no longer protest. He opened the present, revealing a thick book on woodworking and a gift card to a hardware store. In all honesty, Berwald didn't need the book, but he was so stunned by getting a gift at all that he said nothing. He didn't move. He just sat on the couch, staring at the gift.

"Thank you," he finally managed. Tino sat next to him and said, "You like it?" He was clearly nervous.

". . . I love it."

Tino beamed once more and hugged him. "I thought you would! Merry Christmas!"

Berwald cleared his throat and looked at him, hugging him back and holding him like he was the most important thing in the world. Because in a way, he was. He was the most important thing in Berwald's life. Suddenly, Berwald felt like he couldn't breathe. Like there was a lump in his throat. The feeling was foreign, but not completely unfamiliar.

He kissed Tino gently and tightened his hold on him so he couldn't turn around for the time being as one small tear slid down his cheek. Luckily, Tino never noticed and continued to smile brightly, clutching onto the other man like he couldn't stand to ever release him.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12: "Sunday in the Park with Berwald"**

* * *

 _ **So I might change the rating on this to T because I was considering lemon before, but I think it wouldn't benefit this story. Thanks!**_

* * *

Tino hadn't seen Berwald outside of work since Christmas night, and January was just about breezing through at this point and he was getting frustrated. He tried to swallow his fears that Berwald was avoiding him after their conversation on Christmas.

But he couldn't blame him, he supposed. He wracked his head with thoughts of regret, that he should have done something, that he should have touched him more. He was being such a prude, he thought. He knew he shouldn't have even tried to have standards. He felt so stupid for thinking he could have been respected in his wishes. That wasn't how it worked with him. Not with other men.

As he was packing his bag to go home for the weekend, he heard a soft knock on his door and his thoughts fled as he glanced up to see Berwald standing in the doorway. He smiled, though it was forced, and motioned him inside. He figured he had come to do his job and didn't want to hinder him.

To his surprise, Berwald walked over and pulled him into a tight embrace. He might have let out a squeak of surprise, but hugged him back either way. "Ber?"

"I haven't been avoiding you."

Tino's eyes widened and he let out a nervous laugh. "What? I know that!" His laugh continued through his speech and he was sure he sounded more suspicious than ever, but Berwald just hugged him tighter and pressed a few kisses to his lips. Tino squinted faintly and looked him over, surprised but incredibly pleased.

"You feeling okay, Berwald?"

The other man didn't reply, but his hold tightened and Tino's head fell back slightly as he adjusted to Berwald's height. He decided to be quiet and savor this moment for what it was. Even then, Tino was the one who let go first so he could grab his bag. "Ber, are you busy tonight? Or maybe tomorrow, or?"

"I am."

"Oh. With?" Tino tried to hide the suspicion in his voice, but it couldn't be avoided. Berwald didn't seem to mind, replying, "The wiring in my house has a problem. I have to fix it."

Tino wasn't quite reassured, but he nodded nonetheless, not wanting to think anything worse. "Oh! So the whole weekend is booked?"

"No. I'll pick you up Sunday."

That was like music to Tino's ears. He beamed and kissed Berwald, cupping his face in his hands tightly. "Great! Sunday sounds good!"

* * *

Just as he said he would, Berwald swung by Tino's building that Sunday. The air was cold and bitter, but Tino didn't mind. He was all smiles as he got into Berwald's car. "Hi, Ber! Literally, because it's so cold outside. Get it? Like the bur you say when you're cold?"

Berwald just looked over at him, a small smile on his lips as he shook his head. "Dad jokes," he mumbled. Tino just nodded, let out a giggle, and buckled as they began driving. "Mhm. It gets better than wordplay. Promise."

They both sat in comfortable silence for a moment before Berwald turned to glance at Tino. "Where are we going?"

Neither had realized that they had no set destination until now. Tino looked around, unsure of what they could do. "Hm. I'm not really sure, honestly. It's a pretty day besides the cold. And it was a lot colder in Finland."

"Sweden, too."

"Do you maybe want to go to the park? We could stop and grab a drink first. Just something warm." Berwald nodded in agreement and the swung by and got a couple drinks before heading to the closest park and parking the car. The sun was out just enough to slightly warm the air at this point and both were thankful.

Tino clutched Berwald's hand as they walked on one of the paths, looking around at the grey surroundings. They talked about small things. The weather, work, things they'd seen in the past weeks. Tino liked to talk about his students and what they did, as did Berwald.

But Tino had been thinking over the weekend that he really didn't know much about Berwald. Not much about his past, at least. And he knew that it shouldn't have been important but he found himself caring about Berwald's life in Sweden and his life since coming to Denmark. There had to be a real reason he lived in Denmark and he had to have some sort of family or at least family history.

As much as he wanted to ask, Tino was worried. He knew not everyone had the life he did. A good education, a good job, a caring family. He didn't want to say the wrong thing and hurt the other man unintentionally.

But then again, maybe he was just hyping up this situation. Maybe Berwald had an extremely normal life and he was worrying for nothing. The next time they came to a bench, the two men sat down and looked out, just enjoying being together. Tino stuffed his hands between his thighs to warm them and leaned against Berwald. "Berwald Oxenstierna? Did I say it right?"

Berwald nodded and wrapped an arm around Tino's shoulders. Tino continued on, using the first question to lead into more. "So, you didn't like Sweden?"

Berwald, sensing where the conversation was going, quickly shook his head no and said, "You liked Finland?"

"Well, it was home. Did you leave anybody in Sweden? Family? Friends?"

"No."

"What about your parents?"

At this point, Berwald had just about accepted that he was going to have to at least open up a little. He figured he would have had to do this at some point, so why not now? "Only had one."

Tino was getting that nervous feeling in his stomach. He was trying to pick his words carefully. "Mother or father?"

"Mother."

"Do you want to talk about her?"

"No." The reply took Tino off guard a bit, and it seemed like he'd hit a sore spot and he didn't know what to say. It wouldn't have been appropriate to ask why, so he just asked, "Is there anything you can tell me about your past?"

Berwald raked through his memories for a split second, trying to find something he could tell him that wouldn't evoke pity or more questions. "I was quiet. School wasn't easy. My only family was my grandfather." Tino watched him, expecting there to be more than that, but Berwald wasn't comfortable with telling him more.

"Can I ask questions about those things?"

Very hesitantly, Berwald nodded, not looking over at Tino. After a few seconds and a little bit of humming, Tino said, "Why wasn't school easy? It isn't easy for anyone, but I know for some children it's horrible."

Berwald nodded in agreement. "It was. There was no reason. It was just difficult."

Tino made the situation lighter by offering a smile. "Everything was difficult?"

Berwald nodded again. That was a simplified answer, but definitely not a lie. Tino asked him a few more questions and he gave a few more vague answers that didn't really help Tino at all. Finally, Tino was silent. He grew more and more frustrated. He felt like he could trust Berwald and didn't know why Berwald didn't feel the same. He was trying to be understanding, but it was getting harder. To understand, he needed to know.

"Ber, do you trust me?"

"Yes."

Tino turned to look at him, eyes showing evident betrayal. "Then why are you acting like this? Why can't you tell me anything?"

"You haven't told me, either," Berwald replied. Tino stood up quickly and said, "I'm from Finland, I was top of my class, I went to school in Helsinki, I really like puppies and babies and food and pop music and ice-cream and saunas and you. I have parents and no siblings, but I do have a few cousins. We aren't close. I have two good friends still in Helsinki. I like museums and reading and cursive writing! I like how accordions sound! I'm afraid of spiders and small spaces! My favorite gift is always chocolates! I like vinyl records and the smell of old heaters once they've been turned on for the first time in fall! I . . . " Tino stopped to sniff quietly, wishing his nose wasn't running from the cold air.

He felt like crying. There was a lump growing in his throat and he couldn't swallow it this time. He didn't know he was so close to tears until he felt warmth on his cheeks followed by cool air. He looked away, not wanting Berwald to see, but he was already pulling him into a hug and kissing his wet cheeks.

It took him a minute to stop crying, and when he did, he just clutched onto Berwald for a while. When he was sure he was done crying, he looked up at Berwald. "Please," he said quietly. "Please just trust me enough to tell me more."

Berwald thought about it. He thought about telling the truth. He thought about lying. Everyone he had ever told had pitied him or left. Or both. Even when they said they'd stick around, they left. Why would Tino be any different? He took a deep breath and said, "I can't."

Tino immediately moved away from Berwald, stood up, and took a few steps back. "How can I trust you? Maybe you're a drug dealer or something!" It wasn't likely, but still. Berwald was silent, just staring at Tino, who hadn't had a single outburst since they'd been seeing each other.

"Why can't you trust me?"

Berwald didn't even know. Past experience was a big part of it, but he simply said, "I just can't yet."

Tino looked away bitterly, not understanding why. He kept thinking _why, why, why,_ over and over again. He had felt like this was special, like he loved Berwald, but now he wasn't sure. It seemed to be one sided, and he couldn't take it. "I need to think," he said at last, turning to go.

Berwald stared, inwardly panicking. It didn't show in his voice or his expression, though. "Do you need a ride?"

Tino didn't even turn around as he mumbled, "No," and walked off towards the nearest bus stop, tears beginning to spill again.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13: "Death in Teheran"**

* * *

 _Sorry for the short chapter!_

* * *

 _"A rich and mighty Persian once walked in his garden with one of his servants. The servant cried that he had just encountered Death, who had threatened him. He begged his master to give him his fastest horse so that he could make haste and flee to Teheran, which he could reach that same evening. The master consented and the servant galloped off on the horse. On returning to his house the master himself met Death, and questioned him, "Why did you terrify and threaten my servant?" "I did not threaten him; I only showed surprise in still finding him here when I planned to meet him tonight in Teheran," said Death." ~Viktor Frankl_

* * *

Tino didn't know how he was supposed to face Berwald at work the next day. He hated that he was being so immature, but he didn't even walk his class all the way down to the cafeteria. He didn't even want to chance seeing Berwald there today.

He walked back to his room, grabbed his lunch, and ate with Roma Vargas and a few other colleagues. He wasn't very hungry today and didn't even finish his lunch. He didn't feel like talking much either, so he just sort of sat there, a small frown on his face. Roma noticed this, but said nothing.

The day went on like that. He felt his energy draining every minute. He just wanted to go home and sleep the rest of the day, not deal with Gilbert Bielschmidt who kept making fart noises and Mathias and Ned who wouldn't stop their giggling.

When they all left for recess, he laid his head down on his desk and sighed. After a few minutes, he fell asleep, and he was late for picking up his class.

He normally would have stayed after to grade papers, but not today. Today, he gathered all of his things and headed out the door, going out the back as to specifically avoid Berwald.

* * *

Berwald had never had a worse night or a worse day. He didn't get any sleep. He didn't actually lay down, though, and that might have been part of it. He couldn't lay down, though. His heart was beating out of his chest and his eyes were fixed on his phone.

He waited for a call. He himself was too afraid to try to call Tino. He didn't want to make it worse. But he was hopeful.

His hopes were shattered around four a.m. when he finally threw his phone against the wall in anger, then rubbed his eyes and shuffled into the bathroom for a shower.

Even still, he checked the phone, which had miraculously survived his anger unscathed, after the shower and managed to calm down for long enough to relax.

For the rest of the morning, he read through the book Tino had given him for Christmas. It was really just to get his mind off of everything before going to work. He still couldn't manage to do it, though, especially when he actually pulled up to the school and saw Tino sitting in his classroom through the window. He was on his computer doing something, but that's as much as he could tell.

He had decided he was going to avoid him. He clearly didn't want to be seen or approached, so he wouldn't even try. When anything needed to be cleaned in Tino's hallway, the other janitor did it. They swapped places.

When lunch came around, he didn't go to the cafeteria. He chose cleaning up vomit in the first grade class. It was that or have an incredibly awkward and humiliating run-in with Tino. By the end of the day, he was worn out, but he still had to go around to some of the classrooms to deal with the trash.

He didn't go to Tino's room. He didn't want to see him right now.

Berwald walked down to the end of the hall where they had a door that led to the back parking lot. There was a room there for speech classes that he had to deal with. He normally dealt with it last, but since he was avoiding Tino, he was dealing with it first. Just as he was about to throw away some trash he'd found left on a desk, he heard something outside.

Looking out the window, he noticed it was a student who'd fallen in the parking lot thanks to a frozen puddle. He got up, grabbed a first aid kit he was required to keep with him, and walked outside.

He didn't recognize the student, but he was trying not to cry anymore and was completely failing. The student didn't need any bandages. The fall had just scared them and scraped their palms a little. Once Berwald told him this, the boy nodded and immediately ran back inside.

* * *

Tino kept looking down at the bag flung over his shoulder. He was digging around for his bus pass. He'd absent-mindedly dropped it in the bag earlier and was regretting it now.

"Stupid, stupid," he muttered under his breath, peering further into the bag. "I know you're in here s—" Suddenly, Tino lost his balance. He dropped his bag and fell forward, latching onto a warm pair of legs, but still slamming his knees into the ground. "Sorry! Sorry, sorry!"

He continued to mutter apologies while he shoved his papers back into his bag and took the hand offered to him, his frown turning into a look of shock as he realized it was Berwald. He immediately pulled his hand away, but he was silent. What could he have said? He backed away, almost falling again on the same frozen puddle.

"Sorry," he said a little cooler, standing there awkwardly while Berwald took a small step forward.

"Tino, I—"

"Berwald, I'm tired."

The taller man was silent for a moment before speaking again. "Tino, maybe we should talk."

Tino just shook his head, walking towards the sidewalk and digging for his pass again, finding it in a folder. He hurried to the bus stop, getting on the first one that came without even looking to see where it was going.

* * *

Berwald sighed as he looked at the television set. He felt awful. More awful that he had the entire day. He was sure the situation wasn't just hurting him emotionally, either. He could feel his stomach twist whenever he thought about Tino, and his heart literally ached, so much so that he stopped to clutch his shirt, wondering why the hell he was feeling that.

He leaned down, holding his face in his hands as he contemplated his options. He could just get over it, he supposed. But that almost seemed impossible now. He was in too deep with Tino and it was leading to his destruction. He felt damned. Damned if he completely cut him off and damned if he continued in his pursuit.

He stopped thinking about himself for a moment and considered Tino.

Tino wasn't interested. It would probably make him uncomfortable to be pursued by Berwald any further. It could potentially make it so much worse. Nothing was worse than a guy who persisted despite the other person's wishes. He absolutely didn't want to be "that guy".

So that was it. He had to be finished. He was done with Tino, because Tino was done with him.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14: "Things that go bump in the night"**

* * *

 _ **Sorry for updating late. I've been really stressed.**_

* * *

Everything would have been fine if it weren't for the look on his face.

 _"Tino, maybe we should talk."_

He had made the mistake of looking the other in the eyes. He'd been so sincere. All he wanted Tino to do was talk. Why hadn't he let the conversation happen? Why was he so afraid?

Tino's hands shook as he locked his front door and plopped down on the couch. He wasn't feeling well at this point. He just couldn't get Berwald out of his head.

He'd never had to handle something like this before. He'd never felt so strongly for someone. His heart felt like it was practically convulsing. He felt something else, too. Shame.

Shame for not respecting Berwald enough to trust him. For turning away from him. For running off like some child who didn't know better. Berwald deserved someone else. Someone who could treat him well and not run away when things became too difficult.

He curled up and laid his head on the cushion, too lazy to undress or move to his bedroom. He just wanted to relax and forget about all of this.

He laid there for a minute. Five minutes. A half hour. But he never felt any better. He couldn't sleep, either, despite how tired he felt.

 _Call him back,_ a voice said.

He sat up, looking over at his phone. Would that have really been appropriate? After he blew him off?

 _Call him back,_ it said again. He picked up the phone, flipping it open. He stared blankly at the digital clock for a moment, thinking.

 _Now. Call him back now!_

He quickly dialed his number and put the phone to his ear. It rang. And rang. And kept ringing for almost a minute.

 _"Hello . . ."_

"Berwald?! Oh, I—"

 _". . . you've reached Berwald Oxenstierna. I can't make it to the phone. Leave a message."_

There was a beep, then soft static. Tears welled in Tino's eyes and he just hung up.

"So that's it," he said out loud.

 _No, that's not it. Go get him._

"He hates me!" A tear slid down his cheek and he quickly wiped it away. "And it's all my fault."

 _Go._

"I can't!"

 _Stop feeling sorry for yourself and go!_

He looked around, his tears ceasing. He sniffled and grabbed his wallet and coat. He supposed he could go. Just this once to be sure that Berwald really was done with him.

* * *

Berwald thought about going out for a drink. He knew it wouldn't be good, but he felt like shit. He needed to escape for a little while. He eyed his keys anxiously. He wasn't actually supposed to drink. Once he started up, it was hard to stop. But this seemed like a good time to throw all caution in the wind.

He grabbed his keys, shoved his money in his pocket, and walked over to the door. The minute he swung it open, his eyes widened.

"What are you doing here?"

Tino was standing in the doorway, cheeks red from the wind and eyes teary. "Oh, Berwald. I'm so sorry! I'm so terrible!" Tears were streaming down his cheeks now and any pain he'd caused Berwald was forgotten.

"You're not," he said, pulling Tino into an embrace.

The minute Tino felt those arms around him, he smiled and held tightly onto him, resting his cheek on his chest.

"This is my fault. I should have never treated you like I did. I care about you so, so much, Berwald."

"I care about you, too."

Tino shook his head. "No, I . . . I love you, Berwald."

The others eyes widened when he heard that word. He'd been waiting to hear that word. Now that he had, he couldn't believe it. He didn't say anything.

"Berwald? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have s—"

Suddenly, Berwald pulled him into a bruising kiss. "I love you, Tino," he mumbled, kissing him over and over again. "You mean everything to me."

Tino smiled as he felt an arm on his waist. He pulled the door shut behind him and locked it, allowing Berwald to push him up against the door. When he pulled away from the kiss, Tino pouted, but was relieved when he replaced his lips on his neck.

Each kiss made him smile wider and he lightly giggled. "Berwald?"

He stopped and looked at Tino. "Hm?"

He grinned, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead and saying, "When are you going to make love to me, Ber?"

The taller man stared at him for a moment before scooping him up bridal style and carrying him to his bedroom.

* * *

"Hey, Ber? Did you hear that?"

Berwald woke up and stretched. To his surprise, it was still dark outside. He sat up, turned on the lamp, and put his glasses on. "Hm?"

"I heard something out there!"

 _Well, looks like I'm going to be the one to die if it's a robber,_ Berwald thought. To his surprise, Tino got up, pulled on his pants, and cautiously walked over to the door. "Ber, come back me!"

He just stared at him for a moment before getting up and putting some briefs on. He grabbed a hammer from a toolbox under his bed and stood behind him, also cautious.

Tino scurried behind Berwald and reached around to open the door. They flipped on the hallway light, peering into the living room.

"Ber! What do you see?"

"Nothing."

They both slowly walked down the hall, the noise getting louder. It was a scratching noise and occasionally thumping. Tino was in full fight mode, but Berwald was suspicious.

As they turned into the living room, their paranoia was in full swing. Tino was looking left and right, holding his fists up, while Berwald had the hammer raised.

"It's coming from the door."

Tino turned quickly, looking at the door with wide eyes. "Berwald, what if it's a robber? Or a murderer!? I'll kill him! You stay back," he whispered harshly, stepping in front of him and throwing a punch. The other man put a hand on his shoulder and stepped towards the door, unlocking it.

"Be careful!"

He turned the doorknob slowly, letting the door open just enough that he could peek out. There was nobody there. Tino stood on his tiptoes, trying to see over his shoulders. "What is it?"

"Nothing."

"BERWALD WHAT IS THAT?"

Tino ran towards the light, tripped on the coffee table, landed on the floor, and screamed when he felt something wet on his face. "BER!?"

Berwald ran over to flip the lamp on, his heart nearly stopping. "Tino? What—"

He saw a white fluff on Tino's chest and slowly put his hammer down, picking the white fluff up. "It's a dog."

Tino scrambled to get up. His pants were half off and he pulled them back up, cheeks burning. "A dog? Aw, baby!" He took him from Berwald, baby talking him in Finnish.

Berwald rubbed his eyes, coming down from his adrenaline rush. "Hm. Are you gonna put him out?"

"Of course not! It's too cold for him. Aw, such a good boy!" He pet him more and cradled him, muttering more. Berwald pet the dog on the head and yawned, taking him from his arms. Tino pouted, trying to take him again. "What are you doing?"

"Giving him a bath. You make breakfast. Sure there's something for the dog."

Tino dug around in the kitchen and whipped up some pancakes and bacon, singing quietly as he cooked. After a while, he heard the soft pitter patter of paws in the hallway and felt something brush against his ankle. He gave the dog a little piece of bacon, smiling when he took it and wagged his tail. "Aw, cutie."

Berwald came in, took out some leftovers, and fed them to him. He put a bowl of water on the floor and pet him gently. "Good dog."

Tino smiled and put a few pancakes on a plate, handing it to Berwald. They sat down and ate together. "Hey, Ber? This was a good morning."

He smiled faintly and nodded in agreement. It was definitely amusing.

"Guess what's coming up this week?"

"Valentine's Day."

"Oh! You knew. What do you want to do for it?"

In all actuality, Berwald had NEVER celebrated Valentine's Day. There was no reason to. But now it seemed like a good excuse to do something especially nice. He wasn't sure, though. He definitely had to get him a gift. He'd been looking out for things that Tino liked and was trying to be sneaky about it.

"Take you out."

"Great! I'm excited! I've never been out with someone on Valentine's Day. It's usually just me and a box of chocolates," he laughed lightly as he took another bite of his food.

"I don't know how."

Tino looked up. "What?"

"You're great."

He grinned and took his hand, kissing it lovingly. "So are you!"

The other man smiled, allowing his hand to be kissed. He stood up, leaned in, and pecked Tino on the lips. "I love you, Tino."

Hearing those words again made Tino's heart flutter. He couldn't stop from grinning and he was really trying to stop because he knew he still had pancake in his mouth, but he was happier than he'd been in so long and his entire body was practically radiating from how good everything was getting.

"I love you, I love you, I love you!" Tino said, standing and squeezing the other tightly, burying his face in the crook of his neck and kissing it. "You make me so happy, Berwald. You make me feel like I could do anything in the world."

"I'd help you. I'd go anywhere with you," he replied, meaning every single word. Tino just beamed more.

"I'm so excited for Valentine's Day. I'm so busy until then," he whined. Berwald smiled faintly and glanced at the table, then looked back up at his eyes.

"I'll make it good for you."


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15: "Valen-Tino"**

* * *

Tino could always tell when there was drama in his class, and lately, there had been an awful lot of it.

Gilbert Bielschmidt and Mathias Kohler were fighting. Every so often, Gilbert would stick his tongue out or flip Mathias off, and Mathias would try to do the same, but Lukas Bondevik held onto his arm tightly and wouldn't allow it. _He's such a good boy,_ Tino thought.

Tino would tell them to stop, too, but it was practically useless. They seemed to always find a way through dirty looks and note passing. He really didn't have time to stop his class every time he heard one of them unfold a sheet of paper.

This was a recent development, too. Tino thought back to an event that had happened at the end of January.

* * *

 _Tino was waiting outside with the students while their rides came by to pick them up. They always had to have at least two teachers outside during this time, and he normally wouldn't have had to do this on a Friday, but Roma was sick and he needed someone to take his place._

 _So he stood there, watching as more of the students left. They were all so happy for the weekend. He didn't blame them either._

 _Out of the corner of his eye he could see Mathias, Gilbert, Ned, and Lukas. After a moment, Gilbert walked away from the group and over to a little girl from the other part of the school. He couldn't hear their conversation, but Gilbert seemed to be more jittery than usual._

 _He looked away, thinking about how he was going to spend his Friday night. Not with Berwald, sadly. Berwald had to go back up to the school because they were having a little social and they needed someone to clean up. He wished they would have asked the other janitor, but he was pretty old._

 _He was pulled out of his thoughts by the sound of one of the students yelling. He turned to see Mathias on top of Gilbert, attacking him. By the time he made it over, Lukas and Ned had already pulled him off. He placed a hand on his shoulder and said, "Come with me."_

 _To his surprise, Lukas stepped in front of him and said, "He was just defending me!"_

 _Now he was conflicted. Lukas seemed like a nice boy. He didn't seem like the type to lie. He rubbed the back of his neck and said, "Um. Let's sort this out." He took both Lukas and Mathias back to his room and put away the ice-cream he had been finishing up earlier._

 _"Tell me what happened, Lukas," he asked. Both boys sat down in front of him and Lukas said, "Well, Gilbert asked Mathias who he was taking to the dance. Mathias said nobody. Then he..." He stopped. Not as if he was thinking, but as if he was hesitant._

 _Finally he spoke up again. "Then he called me Mathias' girlfriend and asked if he was taking his girlfriend. He kept teasing me and calling me a girl."_

 _Tino was getting angry. He hoped it wasn't as bad as it seemed. He hated for anyone to be bullied over something so ridiculous._

 _"Then he called him a queer," Mathias said._

 _Tino looked them over, memories from his own school years flooding back. He knew what it was like to be teased. He tapped his fingers nervously and said, "Lukas, you need to be telling the principal about Gilbert when he says things like that to you. I know it's embarrassing, but it'll help. And Mathias, you can't choose to beat up whoever is making you angry. People make me angry all the time, but you don't see me beating them up, do you?"_

 _They both looked down silently. After a moment, he spoke more as himself. More as someone who understood. "You both realize that there is nothing wrong with being... a "queer", right? It's okay to be gay. Not that you are, Lukas. But it is all okay," he said with a small smile. "It is just very misunderstood, especially by older children. Don't let them bother you."_

 _Lukas was the only one who nodded. Mathias just looked like he was going to be sick. "You may both leave, but you need to start telling someone when you're being bullied. I'm not going to tell the principal about you fighting, Mathias, but I better not see it again."_

 _They said, "Yes, Mr. Vainamoinen," then got up and left. He watched them go, his concern growing. But at least now he knew to look out for either of them being_ _bullied._

* * *

Valentine's Day. He loved it. Not as much as he loved Christmas, but still. Berwald was taking him out to dinner and it would probably be romantic and he almost sighed.

He had to get through the school day first. He walked into his office, sat down, and opened his fridge to put his lunch away. When he did, he saw something sitting on the shelf. He took it out and read the label. It was licorice ice-cream. There was a note on the side:

 _Tino,_

 _Happy Valentine's Day_

 _-Berwald_

He squealed quietly and opened up the lid, taking a bite of the ice-cream and sighing contently. The day was off to an excellent start.

It only got better, too. When he had to give the English lesson, he opened his book and there was a little note inside. He couldn't squeal because his class was watching, but his grin was almost too big for his face.

When lunch time rolled around, he found Berwald sweeping the hallway and gave him a quick hug. Berwald glanced at Tino, smiled faintly, and continued to work.

By the end of the day, Tino had five little love notes and an empty ice-cream container. When Berwald came by his room to clean, he slammed his door shut, jumped up, and wrapped his arms around his neck tightly. He pressed kisses all over his face, taking his glasses off to kiss his eyelids. "You're so sweet, Berwald! Thank you so much!"

Berwald kissed his lips and said, "I'll pick you up around seven. How's that?"

Tino nodded frantically, kissing his lips with a loud smack before saying, "I'll be ready!"

* * *

Berwald took a drink of his water and looked up at Tino. He was grinning and sipping his wine. "Berwald, this place is so nice! I have never been able to go here. I never had anyone to go with!"

He nodded and reached across the table, taking Tino's hand. He intertwined his fingers with the others. "Happy Valentine's Day, Ber," he said quietly, rubbing the back of his hand with his thumb. Berwald tried not to smile for a moment, but gave in.

"You, too, Tino."

They just enjoyed silence for a moment, comfortable with each other's presence. After a while, the waiter came back and filled up Tino's wine, then set two plates in front of him.

The first thing Tino noticed was how elegant it looked. The second was how small. He laughed lightly once the waiter walked away, and Berwald nodded, agreeing already. "Small."

Tino took a bite of his food, his eyebrows raising. "It's good, though. In an interesting way."

Berwald took a bite and agreed. They looked up at each other, their smiles growing. "We need to stop somewhere and eat after this," Tino said, giggling. Berwald stifled a laugh and nodded in agreement, then finished his meal and quickly paid.

* * *

"Oh, Ber! Stop right here so I can get a burger! I never have burgers," Tino said, tugging Berwald's hand as he approached a vendor. He got a burger and took a bite, putting a hand over his chest. "Oh my goo'ness! Ber, try this," he said, still chewing his food. Tino tried to hold the burger for him, but his hand was unsteady and he got sauce on his upper lip.

"Sorry! Sorry," he said, trying not to laugh with food in his mouth. "Okay! Try again. I won't mess up."

Berwald smiled faintly, wiped his mouth off, and put a hand over Tino's, steadying it before taking a bite. "That is… really good." He walked over, bought a burger, and stood next to Tino, eating his food. Tino linked arms with him while he ate and looked around, watching the couples with admiration.

"Everyone is so cute on Valentine's Day. And now we're the cute couple! This is so nice, Berwald." He threw away his trash and came back, wrapping an arm around Berwald. "Ber, let's go back to your place, okay?" He winked, but he was horrible at it and Berwald just smiled a bit, nodding.

"Tino?"

"Huh?" He looked up at the taller man, leaning against him with a large, content grin. Berwald kissed him softly, saying, "I love you."

Tino clutched into his torso, squeezing him tight enough that he stumbled back. "No, I love YOU!"

Berwald would have been embarrassed, but he was too happy for that now.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16: "Bad Day Blues"**

* * *

Tonight was the night of the first orchestra concert for the fifth graders, and Tino made a point to attend for his students. He knew it would be scratchy, but he made a point to be supportive whenever it was possible.

He tried to get Berwald to go, but he said he was busy and he finally let the matter go and went by himself. He took some pictures during the concert, not wanting to be the type of teacher who just forgets his students after they leave. He liked this class. He liked his students.

When the concert was over, he quickly left, going out the door in the back of the auditorium. He didn't expect to see anyone there, so it was a surprise when principal Winters was unlocking his car.

"Have a good evening, sir!" He yelled to him, giving a small wave and a grin.

Tino knew Mr. Winters could be a grumpy man, but tonight, there was something off. He gave Tino a look that he couldn't quite place. Maybe it was aggravation? Or perhaps disappointment. Either way, it knocked the smile clean off Tino's face.

After a moment, Mr. Winters gave a nod and held up his hand, although he didn't smile and he was looking away. Tino awkwardly kept walking, wondering why he had been given such a cold shoulder.

* * *

Tino had to arrive at work at 7:00 a.m. sharp the following Wednesday, which seemed odd, because he hadn't heard about any meetings. He wished Berwald was there. He hadn't actually seen him since Monday when he came by to eat lunch with him, but they talked often, and Berwald had no idea why Tino was having to come in so early.

Nonetheless, he showed up and went to Mr. Winters office, as he was instructed. He set his bag down and sat down in one of the chairs. Mr. Winters wasn't in yet, which was a bit upsetting because he was exhausted, but he came in a few minutes later with someone trailing behind him.

Tino was shocked that the man following worked security for the school. He was an officer who never really spoke to the other staff, but was always there. It was part of the policy for the safety of the students. Tino remembered reading about it when he first got his job.

The question now, though, was why? Why was the officer here and sitting down next to Mr. Winters?

It was making Tino nervous. They hadn't said a word to him yet and he was clueless as to what was going on.

Finally, after what felt like minutes, Mr. Winters said, "Good morning, Mr. Vainamoinen."

Tino reluctantly replied, "Good morning," and gave a small smile that he definitely didn't really mean.

"Now, I think it might be best to get right to our point," he said, taking out a yellow notebook and a pen. "We have had a complaint from a parent about you and we need to address it. This is a very serious complaint. Often we brush them off, you know. It'll be things that are out of my control. But this time, we can't do that."

"What was the complaint?" He asked. He couldn't recall a single wrong thing he'd done all year, in all honesty. Sometimes he ate food during class when the students worked, but besides that, he was sure he was clean.

Mr. Winters pulled up an email on his computer and scrolled down a little before saying, "'It has been brought to my attention that the homosexual agenda is being forced upon my son in his classroom. This is not what my money is going towards. I pay for him to get a proper education, not to learn about sexuality. It is not a teacher's job to teach my son morality, either. I just hope that this is not what he is teaching to the other children. It would be a shame for the parents to learn that this is what their hard earned money is going towards.' There is more, Mr. Vainamoinen, but I thought that was the most relevant part of this parents email."

Tino was absolutely stunned. He didn't know what to say or do. Although the name of the parent or student wasn't specified, he knew it had to be either Lukas Bondevik's parent or Mathias Kohler's parent. They were the only two students he had talked to about anything like what was mentioned in the email.

"Now, the question for you, Mr. Vainamoinen, is what does this email mean?"

The teacher looked up. The officer and his boss were looking at him, and he still wasn't quite sure what to say. "Well, I did tell two of my students something of that sort, but it was mild! I can assure you. I would never try to force any agenda onto my students. I'm here to teach, sir."

"What did you tell the students?"

"Well, I told them that there was nothing wrong with being gay. That's all. There was no hidden agenda."

Mr. Winters scribbled something down, then leaned back in his chair. "And what brought this up?"

"It was Mathias Kohler and Lukas Bondevik. Lukas was being picked on. Being called a queer, specifically. I don't tolerate behavior like that, sir. I took Lukas and Mathias into my room and I told them there was nothing wrong with being gay and to not mind that people teased about it."

The officer shifted, causing Tino to look at him, but he immediately looked away and back at Mr. Winters, who was looking at his computer screen again.

"I see. Now who was picking on Lukas?"

"Gilbert Bielschmidt."

The principal smiled faintly and nodded, murmuring, "Of course it was."

The conversation hadn't seemed frightening before, but now, Mr. Winters leaned forward and stared at the teacher seriously. "We need to get down to business. This situation is a serious problem, Mr. Vainamoinen. Do you know why?"

Tino shook his head. He was an adult and he should have known better, but he still didn't think he'd done anything wrong.

"It's a problem because this parent just so happens to be a lawyer. This is a smart man we're dealing with. He's threatened to let the other parents know about your conversation with your two students."

Tino paled, suddenly fidgeting in his chair. "I see, sir," he said quietly.

"This school has a good reputation. One of the best reputations in Copenhagen, in fact. I cannot let our reputation suffer. Parents begin to pull out students and we lose money and can no longer keep the school running. We can't risk it."

Tino couldn't believe what he was hearing. His mouth was dry and his stomach churned painfully, his nerves being to blame. "What are you saying, sir?"

After a moment of silence, Mr. Winters looked at his notebook and said, "This might be the end of your career at this school."

Tino put a hand over his mouth. He didn't reply or look away from his lap. He couldn't believe this was happening. This was his first teaching job and he was being fired. _Fired._ His heart practically leapt out of his chest. And how would it look when he tried to apply for another job and they saw that he had been fired in the middle of the year? Who would hire him?

As much as he hated himself for it, and he really did, he began to cry quietly. "God," he muttered, wiping his eyes. "I just can't believe this."

"Perhaps you can use this experience as a lesson," Mr. Winters said. The comment made Tino angry and he almost said something, but knew that would only make his situation worse.

"So now what? Do I have to go stand in front of them today and act like everything is okay?"

The officer looked at Mr. Winters and shook his head. "We can find someone to take your place for today," the principal said, already picking up his phone. He talked for a few minutes before hanging up and standing. "I have to go. Mr. Vainamoinen, I need you to wait here. Once school starts, we will bring Mathias and Lukas down and talk with them. We would like to see if their story matches yours."

Tino watched his boss leave. The officer stayed, but said nothing. Tino stood up and nodded at the door. "Mind if I wait in the lobby?"

The officer reluctantly nodded and Tino walked out, taking a seat on the bench outside of the office until he had to go back inside.

* * *

Once a pass was sent out for Mathias, Tino went back inside and sat down, still sniffling quietly and rubbing his eyes with a wadded up tissue. He felt so bad for Mathias once he got there. He seemed so nervous and it broke Tino's heart. This wasn't his fault. None of this was his fault.

He had to leave once he was questioned. Mr. Winters forced him out. He waited outside the office patiently for Mathias to finish, then came back inside.

Soon enough, Lukas came in. He was even more nervous than Mathias was. But Mathias seemed to be more aware, which made Tino think that it was one of Mathias' parents that had sent the email.

Lukas had to be questioned, too, which meant that Tino had to leave again. After a few minutes, he was called back in. He really wasn't doing well, either. He had been wringing his wrists and holding in tears and he just wanted to go home.

"Mr. Vainamoinen, you didn't tell me Mathias got into a 'little argument'. Did you forget?"

Mr. Vainamoinen's eyes widened and he opened his mouth to defend himself, but words wouldn't come. He hadn't thought it was important to bring up Mathias getting in a fight with Gilbert. Now he felt like a liar and he knew his boss and the officer were judging him for it.

"Pardon? You know the rules and it wasn't your place to decide his punishment or lack thereof. It was mine. I'm not reinforcing it anymore, but you should have come to me once you saw he was in a fight. It didn't matter what it was about. I don't tolerate fighting for any reason. Do you hit someone when you don't like their opinion, Mr. Vainamoinen?"

Tino grit his teeth slightly, growing angrier at being mocked. "No, sir," he replied quietly. Mr. Winters turned back to the students and dismissed them, but Mathias said, "What about Mr. Vainamoinen?"

He smiled faintly at that. It made him feel just a tiny bit better. Nobody answered him. The secretary came in and escorted the boys back to their class, leaving Tino to pick up the final pieces with Mr. Winters for as long as it took to officially make him unemployed.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17: "Tears and Fears"**

* * *

Berwald expected to see Tino later that day when he went to his classroom to clean up, but instead, it was completely empty. He scanned the desk, expecting a note of some sort. There was nothing. Nothing to let him know what had happened to Tino. He would have checked his phone, but it was back in his office.

He was worried. He was sure that if he was sick, he would have let him know before leaving. Or he would have left a note. That was the quickest he'd ever cleaned the classroom.

Once he flipped open his phone, he saw nothing. No missed calls. No missed messages. Nothing. He quickly punched in Tino's number, intending to find out the problem.

The phone rang. And rang. And rang. And Tino didn't answer. By this point, Berwald was beyond worried. He was panicking. He got in his car, starting it with determination and slamming his foot on the accelerator, nearly backing up into someone else's car in his hurry.

He didn't have time to care. He raced over to Tino's apartment, almost getting arrested on the way there for nearly hitting someone at a crosswalk. He couldn't help it, though. Something felt off.

Berwald ran up to Tino's apartment, slamming a fist on the door. "Tino," he said, trying to keep a calm, cool facade. After a moment, he could hear the door being unlocked and it opened just a crack.

"Berwald?"

His voice sounded different. Choked, almost. Berwald peered in, only seeing the side of Tino's face. "Tino, let me in."

Tino pursed his lips, debating whether to let him in or not. He looked down, opened the door, and stepped away, curling up on the couch and hiding his face while Berwald just walked in and stared. Tino had clearly been crying, but what wasn't clear was the reason.

"What's wrong?"

Tino looked at the floor, more tears pushing out of his eyes. He mumbled, "Shit," and wiped his eyes with his sleeve. "I lost my job," he said, getting right to the point. He buried his face in a couch pillow that, luckily, muffled his crying.

This was awful for Berwald. He felt terrible about what happened and didn't know what to say to make it better. He moved over to the couch and sat down, putting a hand on Tino's shoulder. Anger was building up inside of him, but he didn't let it show.

He didn't know why this had happened to Tino, but whoever made the decision to fire Tino made a mistake, he was sure of that. "Do you want to talk?" He asked. Tino wiped his eyes, sniffled, and nodded. "Might as well. 'S not like keeping it to myself will get me my job back," he replied. After he composed himself, he leaned on Berwald, wiping his nose with the back of his hand.

"One of my students parents had me fired. It doesn't matter who. The students aren't to blame at all. I completely understand that. But their parents are such… such asses! I can't stand it," he sobbed, quickly wiping his wet cheeks. "Ugh, I just can't believe it."

Berwald held him, kissed his head, and said, "Why?"

"Right, right. Sorry! I'm being vague. A while back two students came to me. Well, that isn't right. They were in a fight and I called them into my office and the fight was over sexuality. Sort of, I mean. One student was calling one of the two a queer, being mean about gays. I couldn't stand that! I had to tell them it was okay to be gay. I'm such an idiot."

Berwald's eyes narrowed. He couldn't believe Tino was fired over something like that. It made him want to march into the school and quit. If he had another job lined up, he would have. "Tino, you did the right thing," he assured. Tino pulled away and went into the kitchen, taking a pint of ice-cream from the freezer and a spoon.

"Did I? I lost my job! I should have been thinking. I don't even know what I'm supposed to do now. Nobody is hiring teachers right now. They won't be hiring until the summer. I don't know what to do!"

"Tino, calm d—"

"How am I supposed to pay rent?! I don't know what I'm going to do! The landlord will be asking for rent and I only have enough saved for the next month because I didn't think I'd be losing the job so I blew it on new clothes and more f—"

"Tino!"

The smaller man stopped talking and looked at Berwald. He'd never heard him yell before in his life. It was almost frightening, but it wasn't an angry yell, just a firm one. "Tino, it's alright," he reassured, "If you can't pay rent, live here."

"What? Wait, move in?"

Berwald nodded, giving his hand a loving squeeze. Tino forced a smile and nodded, embracing the other man tightly. "Thank you so much, Ber! It doesn't make my problem go away, but it makes it easier to go through. I'll get a job, too."

"Take your time," Berwald said. Tino couldn't take advantage of Berwald, though, no matter how much the man cared for him or thought he was up for paying their living expenses. Tino didn't want to drag him back. "I'll be fine! I bet I could get hired on easily with my degree."

Tino was a positive thinker, that much was obvious. Berwald, on the other hand, was realistic. He could see that Tino was going to be upset about this for a while and he knew he wouldn't be up for finding a job anytime soon. He could support Tino, but he didn't know the extent of it. He was a janitor, he didn't make a lot of money, just enough for himself. Luckily, he had savings. They were going towards a new car, but this was more important.

"I don' e'en wanna talk abou' it," Tino said with a mouthful of ice-cream. He stirred it slowly, then took another bite. "When can I move in?"

"Saturday," he replied. The other sat the ice-cream down and wiped his mouth off with the back of his hand. "I'll pack now," he said. Tino stood and began packing away all of his things while Berwald helped.

* * *

"Down, down," Berwald scolded the dog gently. It was jumping up on Tino's legs, excited to see him as he always was. Tino set down a box and pet the dog, cooing at it and nuzzling its ear. "Is Berwald being mean to you, baby?"

"Funny," Berwald said with a small smile. Tino chuckled and picked up the dog, kissing its head over and over. "Who's a good boy? You are!"

It was good to see Tino playing with the dog, but he wasn't as cheerful as he usually was. This was just a break from his new depression. Once he had no dog to distract him, he'd probably feel down again and Berwald would have to hold him and tell him it was going to be okay and hope that he was providing enough comfort.

"Ber, where should I put everything?"

Berwald took some of the boxes that had kitchen things like plates, glasses, and other supplies and started putting them into the cabinets alongside his own mixed matched dining sets. "Doesn't really matter," he responded. "Wherever there's space."

Tino put his things all away, dispersing his family pictures throughout the house. Berwald came by and looked at each photo, even smiling at one of Tino and his mother at the lake when he was six. After half of the unpacking was done, Tino asked, "You hungry? I could cook us some breakfast!"

"You don't have to."

"Technically I don't have to do anything! But I want to, Ber. If you keep unpacking, I'll cook breakfast."

After a while, the smell of food was distracting Berwald from folding Tino's shirts and he wandered into the kitchen, grabbed a plate, and filled it up. "Thanks," he said, giving Tino a kiss on the cheek as he walked past to take the milk out of the refrigerator. The other sat down at the table, digging in. When Berwald looked across at him, he noticed something different.

Tino was looking a little sick. As if it was even possible, he was paler. His eyes looked darker due to bags underneath. He was taking the loss of his job hard and Berwald had to wonder why. It was like there was something he wasn't being told. "Tino, you can apply in the summer. Right?"

He stopped eating and rinsed his mouth with a swig of milk. "I don't want to make you worried or something."

"I won't be."

Tino sighed quietly, but it wasn't angry or sad, it was tired. "Berwald, I applied everywhere I could last summer. I applied for open positions. That was the only job I was able to get. Out of…" He counted on his fingers, "Fifteen applications, this was the only school that would even bring me in for an interview. What are they gonna do now? They'll see I was fired in the middle of the year. They'll call Mr. Winters and he'll tell them what I did and nobody is gonna hire me."

So _that_ was why Tino was taking it so hard. Berwald took his hand, but Tino didn't hold it back tightly. His hand was limp and he pushed his plate away, tears welling in his eyes. "I'm just afraid nobody here will hire me."

He wished he could have comforted him, but he wasn't wrong. Tino had every right to be concerned about his career. The only thing Berwald could tell him was, "I don't know what's gonna happen, but it'll be alright."

Tino shook his head. He didn't buy that for one second. He hadn't felt this terrible in his entire life. "I studied so hard for this," he cried, wiping his eyes. "I worked all through high school, all through university, all those years of school down the drain. I couldn't find a job in Finland. That's why I came here. Otherwise I'd try to go back up. I don't want to leave you, Ber." He was trying not to cry, but it just made his voice crack. "I don't want to leave."

"I don't want that, either. We don't have to worry right now."

"But I do, I have—"

"Tino," he started. His voice was calm and it made the other relax slightly. "Just eat."

Tino relaxed, but he only took a small bite of his food and pushed it away again, standing up and releasing Berwald's hand. "Thanks, Ber. You're the best," he said, wearing another forced smile. He kissed his lips, kissed his nose with a faint but genuine smile, and left to take a shower.


End file.
